


I Will Take You Home

by AnneLilian



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Narnia)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Book/Movie: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fluff, Romance, basically the movie but with Susan, suspian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-09 03:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneLilian/pseuds/AnneLilian
Summary: It all started because Eustace had once again stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Or that was Edmund’s opinion, at any rate.Peter was off with mum and dad in America, probably having the time of his life, while Susan was stuck here. She had expected to go with her parents and brother, but then Aunt Alberta had gone and broken her leg, and mum claimed Lucy couldn’t be expected to do all the housework alone. So, instead of sunny California, Susan was stuck in Cambridge.Susan is there when the Pevensie siblings and their cousin Eustace are sent to Narnia to help King Caspian X recover the 7 lords most loyal to his father. But the journey is perilous, and they all have choices to make and lessons to learn. Not to least of whom Susan, who can't seem to make her heart stop pounding whenever Caspian is near.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time ever, I've tried writing a fic in full before posting it, so don't worry about slow updates, because I have the entire thing already written down. Enjoy!

**Chapter 1:**

It all started because Eustace had once again stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Or that was Edmund’s opinion, at any rate. 

Peter was off with mum and dad in America, probably having the time of his life, while Susan was stuck here. She had expected to go with her parents and brother, but then Aunt Alberta had gone and broken her leg, and mum claimed Lucy couldn’t be expected to do all the housework alone. So, instead of sunny California, Susan was stuck in Cambridge. At least Lucy and Edmund were there, too. Eustace was an insufferable child, and had a tendency to stick his nose in their business.

One morning, after Susan and Lucy had gone to get groceries, they snuck up to their room with Edmund, if only to have a few moments to themselves. They liked it there, because they could be themselves, and because the painting on the wall reminded them of Narnia. It showed a ship, which Lucy had pointed out on their first day there, looked rather like a Narnian ship, with purple sails and a gilded dragon for a figurehead. Often, it would spark a memory, and they’d regale each other with stories of Narnia. They all knew the stories, of course, but it was nice to hear them again, regardless.

“It rather looks like the Hyaline, doesn’t it?” Edmund remarked, lounging on Susan’s bed. 

“What are you talking about? It looks nothing like the Hyaline, it’s not as streamlined, and it has different sails,” Susan said, laughing. She recognised it as an attempt to start another conversation about Narnia, and didn’t begrudge him. He’d had a hard time adjusting to life back in England. They all did, but it hit Edmund worse than the others. Lucy was stalwart as ever, and both Peter and Susan were of age now, and had fewer restrictions placed on them.

“It looks like it could be part of the royal fleet, though,” Lucy defended her brother.

Edmund grinned at her. “Do you remember when we had to flee from those Naiads we’d angered? Never before had I been so grateful for the Hyaline’s speed,” he said. 

Susan shook her head and turned back to the little desk that occupied a corner of the room. She’d been composing a letter to her parents when Aunt Alberta had asked her to go to the market. 

“We? I do believe that was you and Corrin,” Lucy shot back, grinning just as widely. “Narnia had never seen a pair more likely to get into trouble than the two of you.”

Edmund was about to offer a reply when they were interrupted. “Talking of imaginary lands again?”

Eustace stood just outside the door, and Susan cursed herself for not hearing him coming. She didn’t have the same skills she’d worked so hard on in Narnia anymore.

Edmund got up. “Go away, Eustace,” he said, glaring at their cousin. 

But Eustace never could take a hint, so he sauntered right in. “There once were three orphans who wasted their time, believing in Narnian nursery rhymes.”

Susan rolled her eyes. “Please let me hit him,” Edmund said, already starting for Eustace. 

Lucy stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Edmund, no!” she called.

“Stop it, both of you,” Susan said, standing up and glaring at them. She hated acting like her mother, but Eustace definitely needed more discipline.

Edmund, at least, looked appropriately chastised. Eustace on the other hand, just looked as obnoxious and smug as ever. 

Susan just let it go and joined Lucy in looking at the picture, a small smile forming on her lips. It really did look Narnian, and the elder Pevensie couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. Which, in turn led to memories of their last time in Narnia. The smile melted off her face as she remembered having to say goodbye. Especially to–

“Hideous burden?” Edmund said. 

Susan snapped back to the present as Edmund advanced on Eustace. She had no idea what the argument was about this time, but she knew she’d have to step in. Again. 

Lucy kept looking at the painting, but Susan paid her no mind. “I haven’t seen you lift a finger since we’ve been here!” Edmund snapped, slamming the door before Eustace could escape.

“Edmund, let him go,” Susan said, crossing her arms.

Edmund ignored her, glaring at their cousin. “I have a mind to tell your father you stole Aunt Alberta’s sweets!”

“Liar!”

“Oh, really?” Edmund mocked. 

He looked like he might actually hit him, so Susan put a hand on his chest. “You’re acting like children, both of you!” she snapped, now also holding out a hand to Eustace. But the boys just ignored her, and Susan decided she might as well stay out of it when Edmund claimed to have licked every one of Aunt Alberta’s sweets.

They were all pulled back to the present when something sprayed them. Susan whirled around to look at the painting. It was moving! It was… but it couldn’t be! Aslan had told her that she would never go back! Dread and hope filled her equally, even as more and more water spilled into the room. Only when Eustace tried to smash the painting did she rush into action. “Oh no, you don’t!” she shouted, helping Edmund keep the boy from grabbing the frame. 

There was so much water in the room now that they had to swim. Her lungs burning for air, Susan pushed off the floor in order to reach the surface, but it seemed farther and farther away with each stroke. Finally, she breached the surface and sucked in a deep breath. 

She heard her siblings calling out for each other, and felt relief wash over her. While they were all good swimmers, taking an unexpected dive in their bedroom might make for some confusing moments. And confusion underwater could have nasty consequences. 

“Eustace?” she shouted, looking around wildly. She had no idea if her cousin could swim, and - while he was annoying most of the time - she didn’t want him to drown. A moment later, she saw his head breach the surface. 

“What’s happening? Where are we?” he shouted, completely panicked. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Susan swam over, only to stop in shock when she noticed the huge ship looming over them - with Eustace straight in its path. 

“Eustace, swim!” she shouted, even as she did her best to reach him so she could stop him from panicking. 

Susan heard splashes behind her, and risked a glance over her shoulders to see that several men had jumped into the water. People who wanted to kill you generally wouldn’t bother fishing you out of the water, so it was reasonable to assume that they were trying to rescue them. 

When one of them reached her, he smiled as best he could in the water. “We mean no harm,” he said, and slung an arm around her waist. Resisting the urge to fight him, she held onto his shoulders, and let him bring her back to the ship. Something akin to a swing was lowered, and Susan and Edmund - who had also been ‘rescued’, took their place on it, side by side.

Eustace was still sputtering in the water, being helped by one of the crew members. “Where’s Lu?” Susan asked. 

Edmund didn’t have a chance to answer as two sailors hooked grapples around the ropes of the swing, and pulled them on board. Susan was grateful to be back on solid ground. A crew member handed her a blanket, which she gratefully draped over her shoulders. She was freezing.

“Caspian!” She heard Edmund shout, and she froze. Caspian? She’d figured they were back in Narnia, but… The last time they’d come back, 1300 years had gone by. Slowly, she turned around to see Edmund embracing Caspian. He still looked young, like only a few years had gone by.

“Edmund! It’s great to see you!” Caspian said, and Susan’s breath stilled at the sound. She had no idea how to act around him now. 

So, of course, Caspian looked up at that precise moment, and locked eyes with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments down below! I'll post the next chapter the day after tomorrow, on 30 October 2018, and will try to continue to update every 2 days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, only 1 chapter in, and I'm already late in updating... Sorry about that! Here's 2 chapters to make up for it!   
> Happy Halloween everyone!

**Chapter 2:**

_ Previously: _

_ “Caspian!” She heard Edmund shout, and she froze. Caspian? She’d figured they were back in Narnia, but… The last time they’d come back, 1300 years had gone by. Slowly, she turned around to see Edmund embracing Caspian. He still looked young, like only a few years had gone by. _

_ “Edmund! It’s great to see you!” Caspian said, and Susan’s breath stilled at the sound. She had no idea how to act around him now.  _

_ So, of course, Caspian looked up at that precise moment, and locked eyes with her.  _

They both took a halting step towards each other, before both freezing. Susan desperately wanted to throw her arms around his neck and hug him, to crash her lips to his as she had done a year ago, but she was paralyzed. How long had it been for Caspian? Had he found a wife already? Or perhaps his feelings had faded with time?

With none of the grace she usually possessed, she held out her hand. “H-hello, Caspian.”

He took it, clearly feeling just as awkward as she did. Was that a good sign? But if he still felt the same way, wouldn’t he have reached out to hug her? “Susan,” he said quietly, and it was all she could do to keep breathing. 

Suddenly, she was painfully aware that the entire ship’s crew had been privy to their awkward reunion, and she could feel her cheeks flame. It didn’t help that her clothes were still dripping from their plunge into the water. 

“It’s great to see you all!” Caspian said, turning back to Edmund and Lucy, though his eyes flickered back to her briefly.

“Didn’t you call for us?” Lucy asked, stepping in. Lucy might have been young, but Susan knew she wanted to alleviate the tension between them. The youngest Pevensie had always been intuitive that way.

“No, not this time,” Caspian replied, and once again, his eyes found Susan’s. She wasn’t sure why, but it almost made her uncomfortable. She was probably just overthinking the whole thing...

“Well, whatever the case, we’re glad to be back,” Edmund said, drawing attention back to him. 

Susan wasn’t sure what she would have done without her siblings to form a barrier, but she was glad to have them there. Although she was also jealous of how Lucy and Edmund felt at ease with Caspian, and could hug him and laugh with him, whereas she just felt unsure of herself.

“Ah! Get that thing off me!”

A weary sigh escaped her before she could stop it. She could see Caspian raising his eyebrows in something resembling amusement as he watched Eustace wailing and blubbering on the deck of the ship. Reepicheep was attempting to… she didn’t even know what Reep was trying to do. 

Before long, Eustace had managed to dislodge Reep, who rolled over the deck and came to a stop before the royals’ feet. “Reepicheep!” Lucy exclaimed joyfully.

Reep turned around and looked surprised, but happy to see them. “Oh!” he said, fixing his sword belt. “Your Majesties!” He sweeped into a deep bow, and Susan couldn’t help but smile.

“Hello, Reep. What a pleasure,” Edmund grinned.

“The pleasure is all mine, sir!” Reepicheep replied, straightening his feather. “But first, what to do about this...hysterical interloper?” he asked, gesturing back to Eustace, who was now staggering to his feet.

Susan barely listened to Eustace and Reep arguing back and forth, her attention back on Caspian. He was standing next to Edmund, his arms crossed, and an amused smile on his face. “Actually, it’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick,” he said, pulling Susan back to the conversation as the crew laughed. 

Eustace continued to shout about wanting to go back, though honestly, Susan wasn't paying his words any mind. She did feel a little sorry for him, knowing how confusing it could be to arrive in Narnia for the first time. At least she’d had some time to adjust before she’d come face-to-face with a talking beaver.

“Perhaps we could throw him back?” Reepicheep suggested. Susan wasn’t sure if he was joking, but Edmund seemed to seriously consider it. 

“Edmund!” Lucy exclaimed, though it was clear the younger Pevensie was struggling to hide a grin of her own.

“He’s our cousin,” Susan said, falling easily back into her role as the Gentle Queen. “He’s new to Narnia, and not used to anything other than humans.”

“I demand to know where in the blazes am I?!” Eustace shouted, hysteria edging into his cracking voice.

“You’re on the Dawn Treader,” a minotaur said, “the finest ship in Narnia’s navy!”

Caspian walked over, and Susan trailed behind him, unsure of what would happen.

And then Eustace fainted.

The whole crew erupted with laughter, and Caspian ordered the minotaur to take care of him. As he turned around, he almost bumped into Susan, and she scrambled to step back. “Sorry,” she whispered. Just what was it about that man that made her lose all poise and grace? 

He blushed, and lowered his head - a gesture far more shy than anything she’d ever seen from him - before moving around her. He led her to the stairs leading to the front of the ship. “Men! Behold our castaways; Edmund the Just, Lucy the Valiant, and Susan the Gentle, High King and Queens of Narnia.”

The men all sank down on one knee, and Susan felt a little rush of happiness and pride. She’d forgotten how great it felt to be respected and seen as a  _ person _ , rather than just a pretty face. She was a Queen of Narnia again.

/*/

After Drinian - Caspian’s first mate - had sent the men back to work, Caspian gave them all time to change out of their wet clothes, and led them back to his cabin. It was almost like being back at Cair Paravel, with the glass cabinet doors, and Narnian paintings on the walls. It depicted their first adventure in Narnia, starting with Lucy meeting Mr. Tumnus at the lamppost. Susan’s eyes traveled across the rest, stopping at their coronation in Cair Paravel. The details were exquisite, and she immediately felt a little nostalgic. Life had been a lot easier back then, even with their new status as Kings and Queens.

Lucy made a beeline for the Lion relief that hung over the fireplace, resting her hand longingly over the carved mane. “Aslan,” she whispered lovingly. Lucy  _ had  _ always been the most stalwart of them all. 

“Su, your bow and arrows,” Edmund said. Susan turned around to find Edmund looking at the weapons in question. Caspian had kept her things? And he took them with him?

“Lucy,” Caspian said. Lucy and Susan both turned around to see the King holding out a box which contained Lucy’s cordial and dagger. 

He even offered Edmund Peter’s sword, but the younger King refused. “No, no, it’s yours. Peter gave it to you,” he said, and Susan had never been prouder of her younger brother. He’d grown so much since the last time they’d been in Narnia. Although, he did look less than pleased when Caspian gave him his torch back. Edmund had always been a little jealous that Father Christmas hadn’t given him any gifts, but he’d accepted it as part of his punishment for siding with the White Witch. 

Going over to her bow and quiver, Susan trailed a hand delicately over the detailing. The intricate lines seemed to dance under her fingers. She was still painfully aware of where Caspian was in the room, so she wasn’t startled when he put a hand on her elbow. He was standing close, much too close. Fighting to keep her heartbeat under control, she let her hand drop from her quiver.

“I kept this as well,” Caspian said softly. His breath tickled her neck, and she felt a shiver run down her spine. He was holding out her horn. It hadn’t been displayed like the rest of their belongings, so he must’ve kept it on his person. 

Something inside Susan fluttered, and it was too much. Stepping back, she faced her siblings, doing her best not to look at Caspian. “I need some air,” she said, and with that, she fled.

/*/

Susan found herself on deck, staring out over the waves. Most of the crew bowed their heads deferentially when they passed, but they all left her alone, for which she was grateful. 

She’d dreamed of seeing Caspian again for months after they’d returned, but she’d forced herself to give up that dream, to put her pain behind a door in her mind and throw away the key. But being here again, being so close to him, knowing that she would have to leave it all behind again… it had ripped that door straight off its hinges and left it wide open for her to feel that pain again. 

Some sniffling to her right drew her attention away from her morose thoughts. When she glanced over, she could see Eustace, curled up behind some barrels, apparently doing his best to hide. Susan still didn’t like her cousin much, but she  _ was _ ‘The Gentle’, after all, and took pity on him. 

“Feeling alright?” she asked as gently as she could, walking over to him. 

He started, but quickly glared at her. “I’ll be fine, as soon as I wake up from this wretched dream. This is all Edmund’s fault, you know, licking my sweets! I must be infected with something,” he groused. 

“You still think this is all a dream?” Susan asked, sitting down on a barrel. She was doing her best to keep her calm, though her cousin was already grating on her nerves. But if she could deal with the backwards ways of the Calormen, and still keep her serenity, she could talk some sense into her own family.

“Of course it’s a dream, it can’t possibly be real,” Eustace sneered.

Susan kept her composure, focussing on the task at hand. “How do you define reality? Isn’t what is  _ real _ just what we can see, touch, smell, and feel? And if so, how is this not real?” she asked gently. While she didn’t hold a great deal of affection for her cousin, Susan knew exactly what it was like to be a logical person landing in Narnia for the first time. 

“Look, when we first came here, I had trouble accepting it was real, too,” she explained. “We stepped into a wardrobe and ended up in a snowy forest. And then suddenly, there were fauns and talking beavers and there was a prophecy about us… and I was just as lost then as you feel now. I kept insisting that I’d wake up and everything would be back to normal. But then, before I knew it, I’d started making friends with those talking beavers, and I found that I cared if something happened to them.”

Eustace scoffed again, and kept glaring at his knees. Susan ignored his foul temper and pushed on. “And before long, I didn’t care anymore whether it was real or not, because we were in the middle of a war, and I had to make sure my brothers and sister were safe, that they wouldn’t come to harm. By the time the war was over, I’d come to believe in Narnia, to have faith in both myself and in Aslan.”

Eustace was still looking at his knees, but his scowl was more of a thoughtful frown now.

“I admit, I had some doubts that it had all happened once we were back in England, but even if it hadn’t… Even if it had all been inside my head, I wouldn’t have given it up for the world. It made me a better person.”

For a moment, she thought that Eustace might actually come around, that he might see reason. But, of course, as soon as he noticed her looking, he scowled again. “It’s still rubbish!” he insisted, crossing his arms. It was a clear ‘leave me alone!’ if she ever heard one, so Susan just sighed and went in search of her siblings again.

Lucy was alone in the captain’s quarters, studying the relief of Aslan on the wall. Susan was both disappointed and relieved that Caspian wasn’t there. “Oh, Susan!” she said when she noticed her coming in. “Caspian’s offered us the use of his quarters, since it wouldn’t be proper for girls to sleep amongst the crew. He’s gone to show Edmund where they’ll be bunking,” she explained.

Susan looked over at the bunk and blushed. She hadn’t considered she’d be sleeping in Caspian’s bed. It was a large bunk, considering the size of the vessel, so she was sure she and Lucy would be able to fit, but it was still a little embarrassing. 

“Oh, and I happened to ask him if he’d found a queen in the 3 years since we were here last,” Lucy said, sounding smug.

Susan whirled around. “Lucy!” she said, her cheeks growing even hotter. 

Lucy was grinning, a mischievous light dancing brightly in her eyes. “It’s funny, he turned the exact same shade of red and mumbled that he hadn’t.”

Pressing her colder hands to her flaming cheeks, Susan couldn’t help but be relieved. Was it horrible of her to be happy that he hadn’t found love since they last saw one another? “It was an entirely improper question for you to ask,” she muttered, just loud enough for her sister to hear.

Lucy wouldn’t stop grinning. “But you’re still glad I asked, right?”

Susan didn’t dignify that with an answer. Instead, she went over to where her quiver and bow were still displayed and picked up the latter. It felt so familiar in her hands, as though it hadn’t been a year since she’d last picked it up. Quickly stringing it up, she drew back, though refrained from loading an arrow. In such confined quarters, that wouldn’t have been a good idea. 

“I doubt you’ll find much to shoot in here,” Lucy scoffed. Susan rolled her eyes at her sister, but did note that the younger Pevensie  _ had _ strapped her dagger to her hip, along with her cordial. Old habits did die hard. 

“I’m not planning on shooting anything. Or anyone,” Susan replied diplomatically as she set her bow back down. “Unless they’re annoying sisters who ask impudent questions, of course,” she joked, sending the other girl a teasing grin.

Lucy laughed, a light sound that always made Susan smile wider. She’d always been envious of her sister’s lighthearted nature. It drew others to her, and allowed her to make friends so easily… Susan, on the other hand, was always too cautious to let anyone too close. But she’d never let that envy impact how she viewed her sister. Lucy couldn’t help the way she was any more than the older Queen could, and pining over their differences wouldn’t help anyone. That is why they’d  _ all _ been Kings and Queens, after all. Their differences balanced each other out. 

“Thank Aslan!” Lucy interrupted Susan’s line of thought. “I was starting to think we’d brought ‘dour Susan’ with us to Narnia, and left ‘fun Susan’ back in England,” she teased. The words stung a little, but there was a gentleness in Lucy’s eyes that eased the smarting. She hadn’t meant it as an insult, after all. 

“Yes, well, fun Susan can very easily take a backseat to archer Susan, if you’re not careful,” she replied with a smile, her hand resting on her bow again. 

“In such close proximity, I do believe my dagger would be of more use, dear sister. I remember Oreius’s lessons quite well, you know.” 

Another roll of her eyes, and Susan was ready to put the playful teasing behind them for the time being. They had more pressing matters to attend to, after all.

As if summoned by her thoughts, a moment later, Caspian knocked on the door. “May I come in?” he called from the other side of the door. 

Lucy, standing as close to it as she was, simply decided to open it, in favour of calling him in. 

Caspian stood on the other side, looking just a tad… nervous? “We’re just passing into dryad territory, if you care to come enjoy the view from deck?” he suggested. 

Lucy glanced from Susan - who still stood rooted to the spot - to Caspian, who seemed to be unable to look away from the elder Queen. “Of course! I forgot to tell Susan about your mission, Caspian, I hope you don’t mind enlightening her?” she asked. If Susan hadn’t been her sister - and therefore having known her all her life - she would have thought the question to be completely innocent. As it was, though, she wasn’t fooled. 

“Of course, Lucy,” Caspian assured. The younger Queen grinned, cast one more glance at both other royals, and departed from the room, leaving them alone. 

Susan felt herself blush for the hundredth time that day. This should be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the second chapter for today! I hope you'll enjoy it!

**Chapter 3:**

_ Previously: _

_ Lucy glanced from Susan - who still stood rooted to the spot - to Caspian, who seemed to be unable to look away from the elder Queen. “Of course! I forgot to tell Susan about your mission, Caspian, I hope you don’t mind enlightening her?” she asked. If Susan hadn’t been her sister - and therefore having known her all her life - she would thought the question to be completely innocent. As if was, she wasn’t fooled.  _

_ “Of course, Lucy,” Caspian assured. The younger Queen grinned, cast one more glance at both other royals, and departed from the room, leaving them alone.  _

_ Susan felt herself blush for the hundredth time that day. This should be interesting. _

Lucy had closed the door behind her, and Susan had the irrational urge to open it, or to open a window if nothing else. How had the air become so stuffy in just a few seconds?

Caspian opened his mouth to say something, before promptly closing it again, and Susan was acutely aware that this was the first time they’d been alone together since before she’d last left Narnia. There was so much left unsaid between them - their kiss had been on the forefront of Susan’s mind ever since finding out whose ship she was on, exactly - but Caspian didn’t seem to know where to start. 

Susan had somewhat more experience keeping her thoughts and feelings hidden, and decided to save him. “So, you’re on a mission?” she asked, making sure to sound politely interested and nothing more.

Caspian grasped at the opening. “Yes. Edmund pointed out that since there are no wars or conflicts in all of Narnia, it was odd that you came here at this time.” Caspian took a few steps forwards, stepping further into the room. 

“But for your mission, I assume?” Susan, unable to stand looking at him anymore, slowly turned and focussed her gaze out the small windows behind her, watching the waves churned up by the ship. 

“Indeed. Before I took back the throne from my uncle, he tried to kill some members of the council; my father’s closest friends and supporters. The last reports I could find suggest they fled to the Lone Islands, but no one has heard from them since,” Caspian explained, sounding a little more sure of himself now that they had found a safe topic to discuss. She turned back around to face him.

“If there are no other causes of strife in Narnia, it stands to reason that your mission is what brought us here. Perhaps Aslan felt that you could use some help?”

Caspian smiled wryly as he muttered something under his breath. With the creaking of the ship and the constant sounds of movement coming from the deck, she couldn’t be sure she’d heard him correctly, but… she was sure he’d said something about company?

“In any case,” she went on, pretending to be oblivious, “ we’re here, so we might as well help,” she said with a small smile. 

Caspian readily returned it, which caused her belly to tingle pleasantly again. “I’m glad to have it.”

They continued to simply look at each other for a moment, and Susan took the opportunity to study him. He did look a little older, and the beard was certainly new, but… he had the same, kind eyes she remembered. The same eyes she’d stared into as she’d said her goodbye…

The smile melted off her face as she remembered that day, and she quickly averted her eyes, for fear that he’d see the pain in them. “I never thought I’d return here. Aslan said I wouldn’t…” she mused, her gaze once again on the waves. 

She heard Caspian step closer, and felt his presence at her back, but didn’t turn. “Perhaps he was mistaken? Or perhaps there was some other cryptic meaning to his words,” he suggested. 

Susan let out a breathy chuckle. “He does have a way with words. And He’s not a tame lion, after all. It would be silly of us to think that he’d tell us everything up front.”

There was a pause, one which Susan was sure Caspian wanted to fill, but didn’t. She waited a little longer. “I… I  _ am _ glad that, for whatever reason, you are back,” he said softly. 

Oh, how Susan wanted to turn around, throw her arms around his neck and just let him hold her. She so longed to just touch him, but she knew she couldn’t. She  _ couldn’t _ expose her heart as she had done the last time, only for it to shatter once she was forced to go back to England. 

She took a deep breath and stepped aside, around Caspian. “I should go see that Lucy and Edmund aren’t in the crew’s way,” she said and made her way to the door. Caspian remained by the window. 

As she reached the door, though, Susan paused, knowing it wasn’t entirely fair of her. She was under no illusion that Caspian felt the same for her as she did for him. But he  _ did  _ care for her. “Caspian?” she said, before she could change her mind. 

He turned around, his eyebrows raised and his expression guardedly hopeful. “I’m happy too,” she said, before quickly dashing out the door and toward the upper deck. Had she stayed to see the reaction her words had on him, she might not have been able to control herself. And control was the only thing left to her right now.

/*/

Lucy watched as Susan emerged from below decks and made her way to the aft, where she sat down on the railing, overlooking the sea. Several dryads jumped up to wave, but Susan didn’t seem to notice them. 

“Reep, have you noticed something about my sister?” Lucy asked curiously. 

The mouse in question looked up and followed the younger Queen’s gaze. “Not in particular, your majesty. But you know your sister better than I.”

Lucy regarded her sister for a moment longer before she replied. “I thought she’d be happy to be back, ecstatic, even, but she just seems… closed off. I don’t understand.”

Reep seemed to think her question over as he lightly bounded over from where he’d been perched on the ship’s figurehead. “I can’t speak to her motives, my Queen, but perhaps it is the shock? After all, we’d all thought King Peter and Queen Susan weren’t to return to Narnia,” he suggested. 

Sighing, Lucy finally looked back to her friend. “It seems more than that, but I can’t figure it out. And I doubt Edmund’s even noticed. Susan’s always so stoic, it’s hard to know when something’s bothering her.”

“Then there is only one recourse left to you,” Reep said, putting a small paw on the Queen’s hand. “Ask her.”

Lucy resolved to do just that, but then Edmund showed up on deck with Caspian, both with a sword in hand. Before the young Queen could make her way over to her sister, the deck was packed with crew members itching to watch the practise duel. Lucy sighed. She’d have to find another moment to get her sister alone. 

/*/

Susan had been staring into the distance, not really focussing on anything, reliving their last adventure in Narnia when the clash of swords drew her out of her reverie. 

Glancing over, she noticed Edmund and Caspian, both grinning and circling one another, the swords they had occasionally lashing out. But every blow was parried quickly. 

Despite herself, and her desire to distance herself, Susan was drawn in as she watched her brother and her… Caspian trading blows, each one coming faster than the previous. The crew constantly had to back off and duck out of the way as the two swordsmen made their way across the deck. 

The fight was brief and ended in a draw. Susan couldn’t help the smile that broke out at seeing the two men grinning and out of breath as they congratulated one another. It was heartening to see that the two Kings could get along as well as brothers, despite their original distrust.

As she looked up, Susan caught Lucy’s eyes, who had apparently been looking at her instead of the duel. For some reason, the elder Queen felt herself blush, like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. She quickly turned away and resumed her position on the aft deck, staring at the waves. 

Susan had no idea what she was going to do now. She couldn’t keep to herself for the duration of their stay in Narnia - however long that would be. She’d just have to keep her distance without being too obvious about it. 

“Care to share those heavy thoughts, or are they a burden to be borne only by your own shoulders?”

Susan looked up to find Caspian standing beside her, smiling ever so gently. His breath was still the tiniest bit laboured from his sparring session with Edmund, and Susan did her best not to be too distracted by that. 

“Where I come from we simply say ‘penny for your thoughts’,” she said, in lieu of a proper answer. 

Caspian frowned in confusion as he took a seat next to her. “Penny?”

That did draw a smile out of her. “It’s a coin, from England,” she explained. 

“You land does sound strange.”

“Narnia was strange to us when we first came here,” she countered, turning a little in her seat to properly look at him. She shrugged. “I suppose it all depends on what you’re used to.”

“I suppose it does,” Caspian replied, his eyes on the door that led to the hold below decks.

Susan sighed. “You can’t blame Eustace. I know he’s a bit of a… well, a prat, really, but he’s simply using whatever is at his disposal to deal with an unfamiliar situation. He’s not making any friends, and it’s not the best tactic, but he’s scared and confused, so he falls back on what he knows.”

Caspian regarded her with a light in his eyes that Susan was scared to put a name to. “Ever the Gentle Queen,” he murmured. 

Susan grimaced. “And this is where I remind you that I’m a better shot than you and that I have led armies into battle before,” she teased. 

He chuckled. “True enough.” Then he sighed “If you decide you want to talk…” he trailed off, glancing over the deck. “I won’t be far,” he said, grinning.

Offering her practiced polite smile, Susan watched at he got up. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

/*/

“Land ho!”

Susan could hear the call even down below decks as she was. She’d been attempting to distract herself by reading one of the volumes she’d found in Caspian’s quarters, a tale of adventure that had been written long after she and her siblings had reigned. It was a bit silly, but the characters were compelling enough to keep the young Queen from dwelling on her sombre thoughts too much. 

She closed the book and followed the sound of boots and hooves on wood until she stood at the railing on the starboard side of the ship, between a man and a faun. It was dusk, and Susan couldn’t make out much of the port of Narrowhaven - the city they were currently watching - and wished she had a spyglass. 

A moment later, Caspian and Edmund came down from the foredeck, and Tavros - an imposing minotaur and helmsman on the ship - called out for longboats to be lowered down. 

Lucy suddenly appeared at Susan’s elbow and grabbed her hand. “Come on, I want to be on the first boat!” she said excitedly, pulling her sister along. 

“Well, I’m coming along too!” Eustace proclaimed from behind the sisters. 

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll run across more ‘unhygienic animals’ if you come along?” she asked, a tad sarcastically. Susan frowned, clearly hearing the quotation marks in her sister’s voice, but unsure to what she was referring. 

Eustace made a face. “That place is as good as any to find a British consulate. And then I’ll finally be able to wake up from this nightmare and go home!”

“Because being home in Cambridge was so much fun?” Susan asked, amused more than anything at her cousin’s insistence that nothing here was real. 

He muttered something she couldn’t quite hear, but she thought she heard the word ‘safe’... Perhaps she ought to go a little easier on him…

/*/

After a quick stop for Lucy and Susan to gather their dagger and bow respectively, they descended into the longboats and were on their way to the island. 

“What do you think we’ll find there?” Lucy asked quietly. 

“Hopefully some answers, but…” she trailed off and then grinned at her sister. “Given our track record, it’ll certainly be an adventure.”

Lucy grinned right back before turning her eyes back to the steadily approaching land. The excited energy was coming off the younger Queen in waves, and Susan couldn’t help her own smile. After a year of school and responsibilities and acting like a respectable young woman her age  _ should _ act, getting to go on another adventure was just as exhilarating for her. 

Before long, they reached land, and got out of the boats. Susan was both relieved and disappointed when Edmund, and not Caspian, leaned down to help her disembark. 

It was quiet. So much so that Susan was focussed on that far more than on Eustace making a fool of himself once more.

“Where is everyone?” Lucy asked, summing up her sister’s thoughts. 

“Maybe they’re all asleep?” Edmund suggested, but it was clear that wasn’t the case. 

Susan shook her head. “It’s too quiet for that. Even in a small town in the middle of the night, there would be  _ some _ noise; a dog barking or a cat knocking something over, people stumbling home from the pub… This…”

“This isn’t natural,” Caspian finished, gripping his crossbow even as he made eye contact with Susan. For once, the interaction wasn’t awkward or stilted; they were both warning the other to be on guard, that something wasn’t right. For the first time since she’d come back to Narnia, she felt like she and Caspian understood each other implicitly. 

They were all wound so tightly that when the bell sounded, they all jumped. Susan instinctively nocked an arrow and started scanning the closest buildings. But there was nothing to see.

After another minute of tense watching, everyone reluctantly relaxed a little. Caspian ordered Reep to stay with Drinian’s men and secure the place while he and the others moved on. 

“If we don’t return by Dawn, send a party,” he said, chilling Susan to the bones as they headed deeper into the city. 

The sun quickly set, making the party feel even less at ease. Edmund had his sword out and ready, and Caspian kept his crossbow up at all times. The only ones not brandishing weapons were Lucy - because she only had a dagger and that was only good in close quarters - and Eustace, because no one felt comfortable giving him one. 

As they made their way through the winding streets of the port city, everything remained deserted. Susan idly noted that it would probably be a beautiful city if it were not nighttime and deserted. 

A shiver climbed up Susan’s spine. Something was not right here. And she had a feeling they’d find out what it was before the night was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to review! Happy Halloween!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never, I guess? This past weekend has been crazy, sorry. I hope you'll enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter 4:**

_ Previously: _

_ As they made their way through the winding streets of the port city, everything remained deserted. Susan idly noted that it would probably be a beautiful city if it were not nighttime and deserted.  _

_ A shiver climbed up Susan’s spine. Something was not right here. And she had a feeling they’d find out what it was before the night was out. _

They wandered further into the silent city, until they came upon a large building.

“Yeah, looks like nobody’s in, so you think we should head back?” Eustace said suddenly, breaking the silence and grating Susan’s nerves. She was a hunter by nature; walking silently and not announcing one’s presence was what came naturally to her. But of course, her cousin had no experience with these types of situations, so he could be forgiven. Or so she kept telling herself. 

Glancing at him, she noted that he did look very tense, and was for once not arrogantly bragging or complaining. It did speak to how frightened he must be. 

“Do you want to come here and… guard something?” Edmund asked, showing Susan that he was as observant as ever and had noticed their cousin’s discomfort as well. 

“Ah, yes!” Eustace replied, obviously relieved as he ran over to them. “Good idea cousin. Very, uh… logical.”

Susan turned her attention back to the building they had reached. It stood taller than its neighbours and had a large entrance. She had never personally been to the Lone Islands - That was Peter’s territory - but she could recognize a gathering place as well as anyone. 

But, as always, she was painfully aware of where Caspian was in relation to herself, so when he turned around and walked away, she noticed. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw him pulling out a long knife and handing it to Eustace. 

“I don’t want to leave him here by himself,” Susan muttered. 

“He’ll be fine,” Lucy whispered back dismissively. “What harm could he come to out here?”

Susan raised an eyebrow but didn’t reply. She supposed he wouldn’t be in much more danger out here than in there with them. Still, she sent up a silent prayer to Aslan to watch over the idiot boy all the same.

Caspian and Edmund then pushed open the doors and the four Kings and Queens cautiously stepped inside. 

Large bells hung from the ceiling, and statues lined the walls. Susan wondered if this was a house of worship, as it reminded her somewhat of a church, but then what religion could it be? Everyone in Narnia swore by Aslan’s name, though the Calormenes had their own cruel God. Could it be that in the last thousand years more religions had cropped up? 

Or perhaps she was reading too much into this. It could just be a meeting place as she’d originally assumed. 

In the centre of the room stood a table - Susan refused to call it an altar - upon which piles of books lay. The closest one was open, and Edmund, ever the scholar, stepped forward to take a look. Lucy and Caspian flanked him, while Susan wandered over to the statues. 

“Who are all these people?” Lucy asked. “Why have they been crossed out?”

“Looks like some kind of… fee,” Edmund said, an uneasy tone in his voice. 

“Slave traders,” Caspian said gravely. Susan turned around to join them, but was distracted by movement in the rafters. 

“Look out!” she had time to shout before the bells started ringing and men came swinging down from the ropes that held them. 

Susan let off a shot and felled one of the men before he’d even reached the ground. She was vaguely aware of Lucy stabbing a man and taking his sword, and Edmund using his torch as much as his blade. Caspian, too, had shot down one man, before he’d had to abandon his crossbow in favor of his sword. She’d have to remind herself to tease him about the problematic weapon. 

Susan herself was using her bow as often to club men over the head as she was to shoot arrows. The former was much less deadly, and the strange men quickly realized this. They swarmed her, trying to make her abandon her weapon, but they were foolish to think a bow was needed to fight with arrows. She swiftly drew an arrow, but instead of nocking it, she stabbed a man in the eye. Perhaps somewhat less lethal, but definitely painful, and enough to put a man out of commission. 

A scream tore through the air, and for a second, Susan feared it was Lucy. When she looked up, though, Lucy was still where she had been last, surrounded by 3 men and gripping her sword fast. Edmund was in a similar position, except that he only had 2 opponents left, and Caspian had seemingly dodged all over the room, leaving wounded men in his wake. 

At the door, though, stood Eustace with the knife Caspian had given him pressed to his throat.

“Unless you want to hear this one squeal like a girl again, I’d say you should drop your weapons,” the man holding the blade said as he slowly walked Eustace forwards. 

“Like a girl?” the blonde boy complained. Susan had to fight not to roll her eyes. 

“Now!” The man shouted, prompting all of them to put down their weapons. 

“Eustace,” Edmund growled under his breath. Susan was annoyed as well, but then again… Eustace couldn’t fight, had probably never held anything sharper than a kitchen knife before. Was it any wonder the boy had been caught? 

“Put them in irons!” the man said, and Susan had to fight back the urge to claw his eyes out. 

Lucy didn’t have such compunctions and struggled as much as she could, shouting at the men to let her go. Susan didn’t bother. As long as Eustace had a knife to his throat, fighting would be useless and would only be a waste of energy. 

“Put those two in the dungeons,” the lead man said, gesturing to Edmund and Caspian as he shoved Eustace into the hands of one of his men. “These three however, will fetch a nice prize at market.” The man came to a stop in front of Susan. She glared at him, but made no move to attack. “This one especially,” the man said softly, grabbing her chin and lifting it up to inspect her. Like she was some kind of prize animal. 

There was lust in his eyes, something Susan had seen often enough on strange men, but she kept her revulsion in check. When he loosened his grip to look her up and down, Susan suddenly pulled her chin free and headbutted him square across the face. 

There was a satisfying cracking noise, and she knew she’d broken his nose. The man stumbled back, crying out, and his men grabbed her by the arms painfully. The leader spat something in a language Susan didn’t recognize, but the meaning was unmistakable. He turned his glare on her and roughly grabbed her chin again. She could hear her siblings and Caspian struggle against their captors. “If your face wasn’t so pretty I’d enjoy cutting it up,” he hissed. “Fortunately for you, you’re worth more to me in one piece.” Then he let her go and stepped back. “Take them away.”

“Listen to me, you insolent fool!” Caspian shouted. “I am you King!”

One of the men holding him backhanded him, and Susan struggled against her binds, trying to get to him. 

“You’re going to pay for that!” Edmund shouted, trying to wrench himself away from his captors as well. 

“Actually,” the leader said, smirking darkly at them. “Someone else is going to pay. For all of you.”

/*/

“Susan, wake up! You can’t sleep!” 

Lucy’s voice made Susan jerk awake again. 

“You shouldn’t have done that, now you’re hurt,” Lucy muttered, her hands fisted in her elder sister’s shirt.

Susan managed a wry smile as she closed her eyes against the sun. “A mild concussion was worth it to break that foul creature’s nose.”

She could almost  _ feel _ Lucy rolling her eyes at her. “It still didn’t do us any good. You’re in no condition to escape, should the opportunity arise,” Lucy said, lowering her voice. 

Sending her sister a reassuring look, she leaned back against the stone wall in front of which they were seated. “It’s only a mild concussion; I’m not nauseous or dizzy, and the light is only slightly irritating my eyes. And to be fair, I didn’t think I’d get a concussion, just a headache.”

“What even made you think to do that?”

“I saw Peter do it once when he was being restrained by those Calormen guards who didn’t know who we were,” Susan replied, smiling at the memory. 

Lucy scoffed. “There was your first mistake then; doing something Peter thought was a good idea. And besides, you should know by now that our brothers have thicker skulls than we do,” she joked, surprising a laugh out of the elder Queen. 

“I don’t know why you’re so cheerful,” Eustace muttered darkly. “We’re going to be sold like pigs and who knows what’ll happen after that.”

Susan turned to the boy sitting on her other side. “It’s not quite as bad as all that,” she said gently. “We didn’t come alone, remember?” she added in a whisper. 

Eustace opened his mouth - most likely to argue - when a cart rolled by. A man chased it, calling out to one of the women who sat on the back. “Helaine!” he cried out, trying to catch up, but was shoved back by a guard. 

“Mummy!” A little girl came barrelling through the streets behind the man, her eyes clearly focussed on the woman as well. “Mummy!”

“Stay with daddy!” the woman shouted. 

“Don’t worry! I’ll find you!” the man shouted as he picked himself up off the ground. The little girl reached him and would have kept chasing after the wagon had her father not held her back. “Mummy!” she screamed. 

Susan winced at the sound, but more so at the heartbreak in the little girl’s voice. Soon, the wagon was out of sight. A little while later they heard screams and then… silence. “What happened?” Susan asked of the faun sitting next to Eustace. 

He didn't dare to look at her. “They were sacrificed to the Mist,” he muttered. 

“The Mist? What is it? What happened to them?” she questioned, but the faun didn’t seem to want to say anything else. 

Then, they came for them. One by one, the people they’d been chained up with were sold. The faun went for 80, and Lucy fetched 150. Susan kept her eyes on her sister, willing some of her courage into her. But, while Lucy did seem apprehensive and nervous, she didn’t seem afraid. Good girl. 

Then came her turn.

“And now this exotic beauty,” the auctioneer called out. “Ain’t she the finest specimen you’ve ever seen? Come on, gents, bidding starts at 100!”

“110!” someone shouted.

“130!”

Susan regarded them all with the same amount of disdain. If any of these men thought they could lay a finger on her, they were sorely mistaken. 

“Come on gentlemen, I think we can do better than that!” the auctioneer encouraged. 

“200!” a bearded man shouted, looking far too enthusiastic. She commited his face to memory as she did of all the other men who looked a little too interested, especially the man who had bought Lucy. That’s when she noticed Drinian’s face half-hidden by a blue hood. She took special care to let her gaze slide over him, like he meant nothing to her, but on the inside she was cheering. 

She lifted her head higher as one of the men bid 400, a whole 70 higher than the previous bidder. There was some muttering, but no one could top that amount. 

“Sold to the lucky gent in the back!” the auctioneer shouted, looking positively gleeful. He reached out to grab her arm, but she quickly sidestepped him to join Lucy again.

“They’re here,” she whispered under her breath as she scanned the square again. On one of the parapet walkways above the square, she caught a glimpse of Caspian and Edmund as they were led away by two guards. 

In her distraction, she’d missed the initial bidding on Eustace until the laughter of the crowd interrupted her train of thought. As she tuned back in, her cousin was complaining that he had excellent hygiene.

“I’ll take them off your hands,” a familiar voice called out from under Drinian’s hood. The man in question pulled back said hood, revealing Reep on his shoulder. “I’ll take them all off your hands! For Narnia!” the mouse shouted, rallying the hidden troops. 

Susan wasted no time in using her manacles as a club to hit the man guarding her and Lucy. Eustace quickly jumped off the auctioneer’s block and joined them. 

“I don’t suppose either of you know how to pick a lock?” Lucy asked, a moment before Reep showed up and used his floret to unlock the chains. 

“Thanks, Reep, we knew you’d come!” Lucy said, before dashing off and joining the fight. Before Reep could free her or Eustace, though, a man lashed out with his sword, causing Reep to have to defend himself, rather than focus on them. 

“We’ll be fine, Reep, go!” Susan shouted, and pulled Eustace along as she searched for anyone carrying keys. Soon enough, a guard was thrown their way by one of the minotaurs, and Susan was grateful to note that he had a ring of keys on his back. She quickly unlocked Eustace’s hands, before awkwardly trying to undo her own manacles. 

But, once again, she was interrupted. She noticed the sword just in time, caught it on her chains and deflected it. “Hello, little lady,” the man sneered, grinning lewdly. 

She kicked out - grateful that her feet weren’t bound - and shoved the man to the ground. As quickly as she could, she searched the ground for the fallen keys, but just as she reached for them, the man got back up and brandished his blade. “Oh, you have  _ got _ to be kidding me!” she muttered, stepping into his swing, and disarming him. She then grabbed a hold of the weapon and used the butt to knock him unconscious. 

“Need some help with that?” 

She whirled around, ready to use the weapon properly this time, before the voice registered in her mind. Caspian. Of course. 

“Saving a damsel in distress?” she asked, perhaps a little more harshly than was strictly necessary. 

Caspian just grinned, picked up the keys and started unlocking her manacles. “I think we all know you’re about as far from a damsel in distress as one can get. I believe your cousin falls more neatly under that heading,” he joked. 

His touch sent shivers up her spine, but Susan ignored that as she noticed that Eustace was no longer with her. “Where is he?”

“Gone to the boats, most likely,” Caspian replied. “Are you alright?” he asked, looking at her with concern. 

She was still squinting against the light, and her head was pounding, but adrenaline was a wonderful thing in these situations, so she was able to ignore her concussion for the most part. “I’ll be alright in a bit,” she replied.

Now that she had time to take stock, she noticed that the fighting had died down, and that many of the townspeople had apparently joined in. She just caught a woman breaking a clay vase over a guard’s head while another man used a heavy wooden spoon as a club. She smiled in amusement at the sight. 

“I believe we won the day, your majesties,” Drinian said as he joined them, as poised as ever. 

“That we did, Drinian,” Caspian replied with a grin. He surveyed the square for a moment. “We should gather everyone at the docks and see what we can do for these people. We’ll also need more provisions, if they can spare them.”

The First Mate nodded. “I’ll see to it, Sire,” he said, and strode off. 

Before they could lapse into an uncomfortable silence, Susan spoke. “To the docks then?”

Caspian nodded and fell into step beside her. As they passed, the crew of the Dawn Treader fell in behind them - Susan was happy to see that Lucy seemed unscathed - and people cheered. It was perhaps a little vain, but Susan enjoyed this. She liked being able to help people, and these people were now free. They were cheering their liberators as much as the fact itself. 

As they neared the seaside, a man came running up to them, the same man who had chased the wagon earlier. A few of Caspian’s men help him back, and everyone reached for their weapon. Susan missed her bow fiercely. 

But all the man wanted was to join their mission, and Caspian agreed. Susan, however couldn’t help but feel sorry for the little girl the man was leaving behind. She’d lost her mother that morning, and now her father was leaving her, too. 

Susan had felt the same way when her mother had put them all on the train bound for the country while London was being bombed. Her father was fighting off in the war somewhere, and her mother would be left in a ravaged city, in fear of being killed every day. Lucy and Edmund had been just a little too young to fear for their mother’s life, but she and Peter had known. Her heart went out to the little girl, but there was nothing she could do. They could hardly take her with them on what was surely to be a dangerous voyage. 

Lord Bern - whom Caspian and Edmund had found in the dungeons during their imprisonment - presented Caspian with a sword, an old Narnian sword, seven of which had been entrusted to the seven Lord they sought. 

Meanwhile, Drinian and another sailor walked up and presented Lucy with her dagger and Susan with her beloved bow. She gratefully took it from them and immediately slung it over her shoulders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness, NaNoWriMo is kicking my butt...  
> Please leave a review!

**Chapter 5:**

_ Previously: _

_ Lord Bern - whom Caspian and Edmund had found in the dungeons during their imprisonment - presented Caspian with a sword, an old Narnian sword, seven of which had been entrusted to the seven Lord they sought.  _

_ Meanwhile, Drinian and another sailor walked up and presented Lucy with her dagger and Susan with her beloved bow. She gratefully took it from them and immediately slung it over her shoulders.  _

Not long after that, they set sail again, having been given all the provisions they needed. Apparently the leader of the slavers had hidden quite a cache in his house, and so it was evenly distributed. 

Susan was glad to be back aboard the ship. While the Lone Islands were beautiful, now that Lord Bern was back in charge, it didn’t feel like home. The Dawn Treader, for all that they’d only been aboard her for a little under two days, felt much more comfortable. 

Eustace had managed to procure a notebook of sorts in Narrowhaven, and had taken to hiding away and writing in it incessantly. Everyone else was just happy he kept out of the way. Lucy spent most of her time with Edmund, and while she swore she was fine, Susan felt like her sister was hiding something from her. There was nothing to it than to wait it out with Lucy. The girl was stubborn, but she always broke down eventually to tell Susan what was wrong. 

For her part, Susan tried to help where she could, but she was no sailor, so she was mostly in charge of rationing the food and keeping an inventory of their resources. Which, in turn, meant reporting to Caspian.

After their moment of understanding in Narrowhaven, things were… less awkward between them. Like they’d mutually decided to simply be cordial towards one another, and nothing more. At least on the outside. 

Susan still found herself blushing like a young girl too often, and every once in a while, she would catch him staring at her. There was this unspoken tension between them, which they both steadfastly ignored. 

That matter aside, though, they were making good time. There was a strong wind, and a cheerful sun all through their first day of sailing. On the second day, Eustace was caught stealing an orange from the provisions, but Reep taught him a lesson. Their match was quite a sight to behold, and Susan laughed as hard as any of the men when Reep knocked the poor boy down. The only reason she didn’t intervene was because she knew Reep meant well, and because the mouse kept shouting advice on swordsmanship throughout their duel. 

As it ended, though, Eustace knocked over what Susan had thought was an empty basket. Which shrieked as it fell. 

Everyone instantly grew tense, and several men had hands on their knives. But as soon as a little girl emerged, they let go of their weapons, though the tension in the air remained. 

It was the girl from the island, the one whose mother had disappeared. “Gael?” her father, Rhince, asked, stepping closer. He eyed the crowd apprehensively, but gestured for his daughter to come to him. She did so gratefully, probably having been scared by so many men looking on unhappily. 

A stowaway was generally speaking put in the brig, but Gael was only a little girl who didn’t want to lose her father. 

Drinian made his way through the crowd then, and everyone waited with baited breath. It was up to either him or Caspian to decide what to do with a stowaway, and should Susan disagree with his decision, there would be little she could do but argue her case with Caspian. But Drinian was not an unreasonable man, and he could plainly see that Gael was just a little girl who wanted to be with her father. 

“It seems,” he said, in that serious way of his, causing Gael to shrink further into her father’s arms, “that we have an extra crew member.” Then he smiled - Susan raised her eyebrows at that - and offered the girl the orange Eustace had stolen. The girl probably hadn’t eaten since the previous day, so she took it gratefully. 

The men all smiled and dispersed to go back to their work, leaving Rhince, Gael, Lucy and Susan still standing there. 

“Hello there,” Lucy said, smiling at the little girl.

“Your majesty,” Gael said, dropping into a clumsy curtsy. 

“Call me Lucy,” she replied. “Come on, we’ll get you settled.”

The girl instantly smiled at Lucy, and Susan was a little envious. She’d never been able to get people to trust her that easily; she had to work at it and be charming. For Lucy, all it took was a smile. 

Regardless, Susan followed the two girls down below decks. Caspian was actually in the room when they arrived, looking over naval maps of the area surrounding the Lone Islands. His eyes landed on Susan right away, before flicking down to Gael, who hid behind Lucy. 

“I see we have a guest,” he said, smiling gently. Gael blushed. Susan could relate. 

“We were just going to see about getting her settled,” Lucy explained, glancing at the bunk she and Susan had been sharing. “But…”

“I’ll sleep in the hold, Gael can sleep in here with Lucy,” Susan said, already reaching for the few things she’d need. 

“The hold is no place for a Queen,” Caspian protested, stepping away from his maps.  

Lucy looked a little uncomfortable. “I think I’ll take Gael on a tour of the ship first,” she said, and then quickly led the little girl away. 

Susan turned back to Caspian. “It’s no big deal. I’ve slept among the men plenty of times in the past.”

Frowning, Caspian took another step towards her, as if to stop her from gathering her things. “That’s different, I’m sure you had your own tent, then.”

“Usually, but not always. We’d camp under the open sky from time to time. Besides, Lucy and Gael are too young. I’ll just sleep in a corner, and change in here with Lucy and Gael if I have to.” She wasn’t exactly sure how to explain that men sometimes looked. Not usually in a uncomfortable or sexual manner, but Lucy and Gael might not know how to deal with it. Susan, on the other hand, had plenty of experience dealing with men of all sorts. Prince Rabadash came to mind. 

The King frowned, and suddenly Susan had the feeling that if she’d tried to explain, he’d understand. “Then I’ll be right beside you. Just in case.”

She couldn’t help smiling at him. “Well,  _ just in case _ , I’ll be happy to have you there.” She was well aware of how that sounded, but she couldn’t make herself care, especially when she noticed the faint blush on Caspian’s cheeks. Turnabout is fair play.

“I’ll go make the necessary arrangements, then,” he said, and quickly stepped out of the room. Susan allowed herself to grin widely. Perhaps she could make a sport of this? Getting King Caspian to blush would be awfully amusing…

/*/

The first night Susan spent in the hold was… interesting. 

It was a lot noisier, which she had expected, but she was less intensely aware of Caspian’s presence than she’d thought she would be. The hammock was somewhat less comfortable than the bunk in the captain’s quarters, but it wasn’t terrible. There was, of course, also the smell, but Susan did her best not to think about it. 

“Can’t sleep?” Caspian whispered, long after Susan had thought he’d fallen asleep. 

“That obvious?” she whispered back, readjusting in the hammock. If she lifted her head, she could see him, but for now, she was content to just speak into the darkness. 

She heard a soft chuckle. “I had trouble sleeping my first night down here, as well. The captain’s quarters are somewhat more comfortable.”

“That they are,” she agreed softly.

They lapsed into silence, and though Susan had the urge to fill it, she didn’t know what to say. 

“Do you ever miss it? When you’re here,” Caspian asked suddenly. 

Susan did prop up her head then, looking at him curiously. “Miss…? You mean England?”

He mirrored her position, and she could just make out his dark eyes in the faint light. “Your home, you family…” he trailed off. He looked curious, but also a little abashed at his question, like he hadn’t meant to ask it aloud. 

Sighing, Susan looked down, her free hand finding the locket she wore. It was an old one belonging to her mother that she’d received before travelling to Cambridge. It wasn’t special in any way, aside from the family picture inside, but it was a connection to home. “Sometimes. It’s hard, missing home when you have all of Narnia to explore. Even when we came here the first time, and stayed for so long, it… at first we simply didn’t have time to miss home. We had a war to win, and then a Kingdom to set to rights…” she trailed off, thinking back to that time. “Peter and I were of an age that we didn’t really need our parents anymore, Edmund had always been very independant, and I suspect Lucy came to see me and Peter as surrogate parents of a fashion. Occasionally, all of us would get a bout of homesickness, but it was much worse when we were in England, missing Narnia, to be honest,” she replied frankly. 

“I love England, I do, and our world has its own beauty, but… Narnia is our home. Being away from it is…” She struggled to find the words. “Unpleasant,” she settled on eventually. 

Caspian looked thoughtful in the dim lighting. “It’s strange to think of you in a different land… What is it like?”

Susan couldn’t help a chuckle at that. “It’s only one country, our world is… At least as vast as this world. England itself is nothing like Narnia. It’s colder, and the people are more private… no centaurs or fauns or talking beasts either, only humans.” That made Susan think. “I wonder if they ever talked back home…”

“It sounds like a strange place,” Caspian replied softly. 

Finally feeling herself get tired, she nodded sleepily at him. “The strangest.”

/*/

Over the next few days, Susan told Caspian a little bit about her home world each night. One time, she swore she heard Eustace commenting under his breath, but that didn’t deter them. They whispered to each other under the cover of darkness, regaling one another with tales. Susan told some fairytales from her own world, and Caspian managed to remember some legends she had not previously heard of. 

She knew, she  _ knew _ , she was only setting herself up to be hurt even worse by getting to know him even better, but she couldn’t help herself. It was like the dark inside of the ship was a different world, one where she could pretend that this could last forever, that she wouldn’t have to leave. 

But inevitably, she would fall asleep and dawn would break, and Susan would do her best to stay away from the King. For his part, Caspian took it in a stride, as if the moments down in the hold were as precious to him as they were to her, and he didn’t want to lose them either. 

Lucy, however, had no problem voicing her displeasure with the elder girl, no matter the subject. It was as though the usually cheerful Queen automatically turned sour when faced with her sister. And what was worse; Susan was fairly certain the entire ship knew about it. 

“Susan, hi.”

It seemed Edmund had drawn the short straw. 

Susan looked up from the book she’d been reading - another one she’d filched from Caspian’s quarters - to narrow her eyes at her brother. “Good morning,” she replied, suspicion practically dripping from her words. 

Edmund looked a little uncertain, which was something Susan hadn’t seen on her little brother since before they’d returned to Narnia the previous time. She sighed and put her book down. Chalk it up to sisterly instincts, but she couldn’t bear to see him squirm like that. 

She’d been sitting on the aft deck again, since that’s where the least activity was, and she was able to stay out of everyone’s way. Only Drinian would occasionally impede on her privacy to give instructions to the navigator. As it was, she scooted over so Edmund could sit beside her. “Alright, out with it,” she said. “Who sent you, and what has them concerned this time?” she asked with no small sense of resignation. 

Luckily, Edmund knew her too well to try to act innocent. “No one sent me,” he said frankly. “It’s more that everyone on the ship can sense your… detachment and they’re worried about you. Not to mention that seeing you and Lucy at odds is putting everyone on edge. I’m just the logical choice for this.”

She frowned at him. “Then who’s gone to talk to Lucy?”

“Reep, of course. Who else?” he replied with a grin. 

Sighing and rubbing her forehead, Susan decided that she would never again join a quest if the main adventure was to be had at sea. She hated living in close quarters like this. “I’m not sure what Lucy’s problem is, she won’t talk to me about it. All she does is get angry.”

“But only at you, though,” Edmund interjected. “She’s her perfectly happy self with everyone else on board.”

That comment only served to anger Susan, but she reigned that emotion in. None of this was Edmund’s fault. “As I said; I’m at a loss. Go talk to her yourself if you’re so eager to find out,” she said, perhaps a little more shortly than she’d intended. 

But Edmund just nodded and took it in a stride. He really had grown so much in the last few years. “Alright, then why not tell me what has  _ you _ so withdrawn?”

She frowned at him. “I’m not  _ withdrawn _ . There’s not much I can help with here on the ship; I’m a terrible cook and I know nothing of sailing. What would you propose I do?”

Edmund shrugged, once again letting her snappy response slide off him. “Interact with people, perhaps? All you do is read and stare out at the horizon. People are wondering whether you want to be here or not.”

“Well, perhaps I don’t want to be here!” she hissed under her breath, still aware of the dozens of men going about their business on deck. “Has that ever occurred to you? Aslan made a mistake in sending me back here. He said himself that when we left Narnia, it was supposed to be my last. I wasn’t even supposed to be at our aunt and uncle’s house!”

“But aren’t you glad that you could-”

“Could what? Could come here, have to see how magnificent Narnia is, to see all its wonders and feel the thrill of adventure, only to go back to England and be a proper little lady who keeps her mouth shut and does what she’s told?” Susan interrupted angrily, though she still made sure to keep her voice low. In her agitation, she couldn’t bear to sit still any longer, so she pushed off the railing and took a few steps away from her brother. She felt like she was being suffocated. Why couldn’t everyone just leave her alone? Her eyes automatically scanned the deck, and landed, as they were wont to do, on Caspian as the King talked to Drinian. 

“This isn’t just about Narnia, is it?” Edmund asked, and Susan was startled to note that he’d come to stand at her shoulder and she hadn’t noticed. 

She sighed, unable to tear her gaze away from the King as he grinned and joked, despite the First Mate’s ever stoic composure. “It’s everything combined,” she whispered. 

They stood in companionable silence for a while, before Edmund spoke again. “Look, I’m not going to pretend to know exactly what you’re going through… but as for the leaving Narnia part to go back to England? That I can understand. We all can. Just because Lucy doesn’t show it, doesn’t mean she’s not devastated every time we have to leave. And I know Peter had a hard time accepting it, too. Bloody hell, Su, you know what a mess I am back home,” he said. 

Susan bit her lip. Yes, her siblings had it hard as well, but it wasn’t exactly the same. Caspian suddenly looked up and locked gazes with her. His smile dimmed, and even from this distance, she could see the concern written on his features. He’d really have to learn to get a better poker face in the future. She turned away from the sight. 

“Should we really shut ourselves off from the possibility of gaining fond memories for fear of the pain that will come after?” Edmund asked. “Because I, for one, would rather enjoy what time I have here to the fullest than live with regrets later on.”

Susan mulled that over for a moment. “How do you know it’s worth it?”

Sighing, Edmund put a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t. But look at it this way; you’re going to have to go through that pain either way. Isn’t it better to do it without regrets than to have all those what-ifs in your mind?”

Edmund had a point. “I suppose,” she whispered. “When did you become so wise?”

“That made sense to you? Great, because I didn’t know what the hell I was saying,” he replied, a cheeky grin on his face. Susan could tell that he was joking, he knew exactly what he was saying, because he knew at least partly what she was going through. 

“Well it’s a good thing I’m smarter than you then,” she teased mildly. 

“Oi! That hurts!” But his wide grin belied his relief that she seemed to be doing better. And Susan did feel better. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed someone to talk things through like this. She’d had Caspian to talk to during their nightly conversations, but… this was something to which the current King could not relate. 

“Thank you, Ed.”

“Any time, Su.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there was a break in at my house the other day and my laptop was stolen. It kind of made.me forget about this fic, not to mention NaNoWriMo (I am soooo behind now).
> 
> From now on I'll be updating every day, so there's less chance that I'll forget. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter 6:**

The next day, land was sighted. It would still take them a while to reach a bay large enough in which to moor the ship, so Susan thought this might be a good opportunity to seek out Lucy and try to clear the air. 

“Lucy, are you in here?” Susan called out as she knocked on the Captain’s door. 

“Come in!”

Susan pushed open the door and stepped inside, shutting it behind her. “Gael isn’t here?” she asked. The little girl was usually glued to Lucy’s side, but apart from Lucy, the room was empty. 

The younger Queen looked up from where she’d been looking out the window. “Obviously,” she said, but there was fewer annoyance in her tone than there had been in previous days, so Susan took that as progress.

“I came to find out what’s happened,” Susan explained, studying her sister’s reaction intently. 

Lucy tensed up, and kept her eyes on the window. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” she replied neutrally.

Deciding to get straight to the point, Susan took a step closer. “You’re angry with me, and I’d like to know why.”

“I’m not angry,” Lucy denied, though she didn’t sound very convincing. 

Susan shot her sister a flat look. 

“Alright, maybe I am, but it’s nothing to do with you.”

“Then why am I the only one you’re so snippy with?” Susan asked, coming to stand beside her little sister. 

“I am not snippy!” Lucy said defensively. “And it  _ isn’t _ anything to do with you.”

Sighing, Susan leaned against the wall. “Well, I promised Ed I’d make more of an effort to be sociable. I take it Reep made you promise something similar?”

Lucy glared out the window. “Oh great, you’ll be spending more time on deck, then?” she asked rhetorically, though she didn’t seem happy about it.

Susan frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! I’m sure everyone will be thrilled that you’ll be more approachable. I’m sure everyone will want to talk to you,” she replied, confusing Susan even more. “After all, you’re  _ worth _ more than me,” the younger Queen added, almost inaudibly.

“ _ That’s _ what you’re upset about?” Susan exclaimed incredulously. “That they sold me for more money than you? Lucy, that’s insane!”

Lucy finally turned to look at her sister, and Susan was taken aback at the anger she could see in her eyes. “Of course!  _ I’m _ the insane one,  _ you’re _ the beautiful one! Everyone is always looking at you! You weren’t even supposed to be here! It was  _ supposed _ to be  _ my _ time!”

Susan felt herself getting angry. “You think this is easy? Constantly being looked at like I’m an object to be possessed and lusted over, rather than being judged on my own merits? Yes, I use it to my advantage from time to time, but it is _ not _ an easy burden to bear!”

“Oh poor you, people think you’re beautiful. Excuse me if I don’t shed a tear!” Lucy shouted.

Well aware that she was blushing, Susan glared at her sister. “At least you know that when people look at you it’s because of  _ you _ , not how you look, or how you could advance their position. How many suitors came to Cair Paravel to seek my hand, expecting me to be a wilting flower to do their bidding! You think I have it easy? I would give the  _ world _ to be you, Lucy.”

This time, Lucy was taken aback. “What?” she said, her voice suddenly quiet. 

Susan sighed and sat down, her anger draining out of her. “Even before all this, mother and father always expected me to be the proper little lady. Peter’s a boy, so of course he was given liberties. But I had to be pretty and sit still and adhere to the rules and take care of the little ones. And then I became Queen, and those expectations were amplified hundredfold. How many times did I stay home to take care of the Kingdom and let you three go on your quests? The Gentle, indeed.”

“Susan…” Lucy whispered.

But Susan wasn’t ready to hear the platitudes Lucy was bound to say. Instead, she stared at the reliefs on the walls. “Sometimes I thought I might hate Aslan for giving me that title, you know. And then I envy you your unquestioning faith, your steadfastness and bravery, not to mention your kindness and willingness to give everyone a second chance.” Finally, she turned to face the other girl. “You have such faith, Lucy. Trust me, that’s worth a lot more than appearances.”

Lucy opened her mouth, but didn’t seem able to form any words. With nothing left, she reached out and hugged Susan close. That’s when the elder Queen realized there were tears on her cheeks. Subtly, she wiped them away.

“I’d never thought of it that way before,” Lucy muttered into her sister’s hair.

Susan pulled back and managed a slight smile. “It’s not all bad. I was… well, not exaggerating, but…” she trailed off, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. “I’ve had these frustrations for a while now, and they just all came out at once. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Lucy shook her head. “No! You should never be sorry for talking to me. All of us always come to you with our problems and you always listen. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you, too, you know.”

This time, her smile was more genuine. “Thanks, Lu. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“I’m the one who should be sorry anyway. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you.”

Susan reached out and tucked some of her little sister’s hair behind her ear. “Lucy, everyone has their problems. Yours aren’t any more or less significant than mine. It’s just important to keep in mind that someone else might be struggling with something too.”

“Nobody’s perfect?” Lucy summarized with a smile. 

Susan nodded. “Least of all me.” And then she sighed. This conversation had drained her. “Now, if you don’t mind, I need some air,” she said. 

Lucy nodded and Susan took her leave. It was a testament to her distraction that it took her a moment or two after reaching the deck to notice the tension hanging in the air. She made her way over to the side of the deck and sat down on one of the barrels there when it struck her. The crew must have heard the argument. 

“Small ship,” Caspian said as he took a seat next to her. 

Susan felt her cheeks heat up and hid her face in her hands. “I don’t suppose you’d let me jump overboard and drown, would you?”

Caspian chuckled. “I’d be honour-bound to jump in after you. One can’t simply let a damsel drown, now can one?”

Susan peaked between her fingers to glare at him, before emerging fully. “I thought we’d agreed that I’m anything but a damsel.”

“A damsel in distress, perhaps, but apparently you are a suicidal one,” he joked, referring to their conversation on the Lone Islands.

Feeling her cheeks heat up anew, Susan pressed her colder hands to them. “I was joking, and you know it,” she defended weakly. 

Caspian simply smiled at her, which did  _ not _ help with the blush. “Seeing as how the shouting ended, I take it the argument was resolved?” he asked. 

She was grateful he didn’t ask for specifics. No doubt everyone had heard them shouting, but there was only a small chance that anyone had understood the words themselves. At least she had that.

“It was. Lucy and I have a hard time staying angry with one another for long. All we needed was a moment to vent out our frustrations,” she explained. 

“Good. Can’t have dissension breaking out on my ship,” he joked. 

She gently bumped his shoulder with hers. “You won’t. We’ll be perfectly civilized from now on.”

He kept smiling at her, and she couldn’t help but return the gesture. Perhaps Edmund was right. She could do worse than live with memories such as these. “I am happy to be here, you know. In case you were wondering,” she said, once again blushing at her own inelegance. 

Caspian’s smile got just a little wider. “Good. So am I.”

Susan was sure she would have said something embarrassing, had Drinian not chosen that moment to interrupt. “Excuse the interruption, your majesties, but we’re approaching a bay where I think we’ll be able to moor the ship.”

“Right,” Caspian said, schooling his features. Susan looked down to hide her red cheeks. “We should spend the night ashore, give the men a chance at some fresh air and then scour the island in the morning. Get the longboats ready.”

“Aye, your majesty.”

About an hour later, Susan stepped foot on the sand, and sighed in relief. It would take a little bit to find her land legs again, but she was happy to be on solid ground regardless. 

“We’ll set up camp here on the beach. Drinian, set up a watch. One man should be enough.”

“Aye, Sire,” the First Mate replied, before he went off to organize the men. 

Luckily, it didn’t take long to set up, since all they needed in the mild climate was some bedrolls to lay down on. Susan put hers next to Lucy and Gael’s. The two older girls had been sticking together since they boarded the longboats, partly to show the crew that all was well, and partly because they’d missed one another. Gael slept between the two girls, as she hadn’t felt entirely comfortable, and her father had first watch. 

As everyone lay down to get some sleep, Susan leafed through the book Lucy had brought ashore. 

“Do you think we’ll find them all?” Edmund asked in a whisper. He’d dragged his bedroll next to hers after Eustace had fallen asleep and started snoring. 

“I don’t know. I hope we’ll at least find out their fate, for Caspian’s sake,” she replied quietly, looking over to where the King was talking to Drinian and Tavros. She’d gotten used to sharing stories with him before going to sleep, and found that she was just not tired now. 

Edmund, perhaps noticing her distraction, just nodded. “Me too. Well, I’m going to try to get some sleep. Good night, Su.”

“Night, Ed.”

Susan tossed the book onto the corner of Lucy’s bedroll and lay down, trying futilely to sleep. After about an hour, Susan sat up in frustration. Looking around, she could tell that everyone was already sound asleep. All but one, that is. 

Caspian sat leaning against one of the large rocks that lay scattered across the beach, staring out over the water. Susan debated with herself for a moment, before deciding to go over there. It wouldn’t do if neither of them got any sleep. 

She approached quietly, but Caspian was as alert as ever, and turned his head to face her. “Couldn’t sleep either?” he asked in a whisper. 

She settled down next to him, her leg just touching his. “Hard to do when you’ve gotten used to exhausting yourself telling stories,” she replied, matching his volume. 

They smiled softly at one another in the dark, and Susan firmly pushed down any panic at how vulnerable she was letting herself be. It was like Edmund had said, she just had to evaluate the risk; was spending time with Caspian worth getting her heart broken after this was all over? 

“So, will you tell me a story?” he asked, his dark eyes gleaming in the starlight. 

“What kind of story would you like to hear?” she asked, allowing herself to smile and get comfortable leaning against his shoulder. 

Judging from the way Caspian froze for a moment, before he lay his head on hers, she’d made the right decision. “Something with a happy ending,” he replied resolutely. 

They’d already covered most popular fairy tales, and Susan had started straying into literature. And she had just the story to tell. “A long time ago in a country far away from here lived a set of twins, named Viola and Sebastian,” Susan started. “The siblings looked very much alike, something people loved to point out to the pair. One day, they made a journey across the sea, but were caught in a storm. Viola barely survived, but made it to land with the help of the captain. There was no sign of Sebastian.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a happy story?” Caspian murmured. 

Susan felt his chest rumble as he spoke, making her smile. “Be patient, the story isn’t over yet.”

“I beg your forgiveness, my Queen, please go on.”

“That’s better,” she teased. Now where was she… “Right, so Viola makes it to the shore, but she has nothing, and no friends but the captain. Since she had no possessions or money, she asked the captain to look around for a job for her, but all he could find was the position of manservant to Duke Orsino. Viola decides that she has no other choice, and asks the captain to help her dress as a man to get the job.”

“Why would she need to-”

“Oh, hush,” Susan said, grinning too widely for it to be in any way harsh. “Just let me tell the story!”

“Right, I apologise.”

“Now, the Duke has convinced himself that he is in love with Lady Olivia, who is in mourning for her late brother and father and refuses all entertainment or guests. The Duke sends Viola to woo her on his behalf.”

“I don’t think this is going to end well…” Caspian muttered. 

This time, Susan just ignored him, enjoying the warmth he provided on the chilly beach. She continued to tell the story of Viola and Duke Orsino. It was the first love story she’d told him, as she’d shied away from them before. But now, she was feeling a little bolder. She didn’t get to finish the story, though. Caspian fell asleep somewhere around the moment that Sebastian showed back up and Olivia asked him to marry her. Unwilling to move from her comfortable spot, Susan didn’t think he’d mind if she waited a few more minutes before waking him up so they could both move to their bedrolls…

/*/

Something stirred against her, so Susan burrowed deeper into her pillow in order to get a few more minutes of sleep. Her pillow took a deep breath and tightened his arm around her. 

Wait. 

Slowly, Susan woke up. She remembered telling the story of Twelfth Night to Caspian and him falling asleep. She must have drifted off as well. Carefully, she cracked open one eye. Their position was… a little more intimate than usual. 

Susan’s legs were draped over Caspian’s lap, her head rested on his shoulder and her left hand gripped the fabric of his shirt. She opened another eye and blinked against the sun, but didn’t otherwise move. Caspian still leaned against the rock they’d been sitting by the previous night, which conveniently hid them from sight. His arm was slung over her hip, securing her in place. Carefully lifting her head to get a closer look, she saw that his head lay back against the boulder. It did not look particularly comfortable. 

As slowly and carefully as she could, Susan shifted so that her legs were no longer slung over his lap. Next, she gingerly unwound her hand from his shirt. So far so good. Unfortunately, there was no way of moving his arm without waking him. Sighing softly, she knew there was no other way. She scooted a little further until their position wasn’t quite so scandalous, and put her hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake. “Caspian. Caspian, it’s dawn,” she whispered, unwilling to wake any of the others. 

He frowned adorably and tried to pull her closer again, but Susan resisted. She carefully pushed off his arm, which woke him the rest of the way up. He squinted at her. “Morning,” he rasped, and Susan couldn’t contain a smile. 

“Good morning,” she replied, scooting a little further away still. She’d hoped he wouldn’t notice in his sleep-addled state, but when he narrowed his eyes, she knew she’d failed.

Opening her mouth to utter an excuse, she happened to glance away. And then she noticed it. “Caspian, look,” she said, all thoughts of their nightly intimacy forgotten as she scrambled to her feet. 

Caspian copied her, following her gaze to the sand, where the light of the rising sun illuminated huge footprints. Immediately, the King and Queen were on their guard. Caspian made his way over to where Edmund was sleeping, while Susan went for her bow. Apparently, Caspian had slept with his scabbard next to him, so he was already in possession of his weapon. 

“Ed, wake up,” Caspian said, shaking his friend’s shoulder. 

Susan surveyed the camp, noting a lot more tracks. And then her eye fell on Lucy’s bedroll. Lucy wasn’t on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment and tell me what you thought!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

“Where’s Lucy?” she asked, pushing down on her rising panic. 

By now, Edmund was up and looking around as well as he drew his sword. “Lucy?” he called out, waking at least some of the men.

“Lucy!” Susan shouted, her eyes frantically scanning the surroundings. 

“Everybody up!” Drinian ordered, as he pulled a half-asleep sailor from his bedroll. 

As soon as everyone was on their feet, they ran for the trees. There was no other way for Lucy to have gone. Only a few minutes later, they arrived at what appeared to be a garden, with bushes, pruned into lovely shapes. But Susan could hardly enjoy it.

“Lucy!” Susan called out as they slowed to a stop. If someone had taken her, perhaps this was their destination. 

“We’ll find her,” Caspian told her quietly. 

“How did this even happen? We set a watch for just this reason!” Susan replied, heedless of her volume.

“I was on watch your majesty,” one of the men said, his face red and a guilty look on his face. “I must have fallen asleep…” 

Susan resisted the urge to hit him. But if Lucy had been hurt due to his negligence, she couldn’t make any promises. So she settled for glaring at him. Luckily for the man, Drinian stepped in. “He’ll be punished properly when we’ve recovered your sister, your majesty,” he appeased. 

Nodding curtly, Susan went back to scanning their surroundings. 

“Su, it’s Lucy’s dagger!” Edmund said. Susan turned around to see him picking it up gingerly. 

“Look out!” The call came right before a pair of spears were planted into the ground at Edmund’s feet. Everyone jumped to attention, raising their weapons… but there was nothing to aim for. 

“Stop right there,” a gravelly voice called from thin air. “Or perish!”

Caspian’s sword was slammed from his hands and sent flying, and then the same happened with Ed. Susan raised her bow to fire, but it, too was torn from her hands. 

When Caspian was knocked down and his sword held menacingly above him, Susan froze, as did most of the men. “What sort of creatures are you?” Caspian asked, and Susan mentally commended him for his bravery. 

“Big ones! With the head of a tiger and the body of a…”

“Different tiger!” another voice chimed in. 

Susan frowned. For all that an invisible enemy was hard to fight, they didn’t sound very intelligent. Nor very truthful.

“You don’t want to mess with us!” the first voice said. 

“Why not?” Edmund asked.

The various voices - Susan counted at least 4 or 5 - went on to threaten the group with all sorts of ridiculous threats as they slowly became visible. They were short, one-legged creatures with huge feet, standing on top of each other to appear bigger. 

“You mean squash us with your fat bellies?” Caspian asked, deadpan. 

“Yes! No, wait,” the one with the longest beard said. 

“Tickle us with your toes?”

It didn’t take long for all the creatures to be toppled and held at sword point. 

“What have you done with my sister, you little pipsqueak?” Edmund asked, stepping closer to the long-bearded one, as he appeared to be the leader. Susan quickly fetched her bow and nocked an arrow as she joined her brother.

“Now… calm down,” the creature said as he nervously looked at the blade. 

“Where is she?” Susan snapped, drawing the string back and aiming at the little man’s head. 

Some of the other creatures started muttering that the ‘chief’ should tell them. “In the mansion,” the chief replied, looking a little scared. 

“What mansion?” Edmund asked before Susan had a chance to do so.

The chief glanced to his left from the corner of his eye, and Susan automatically followed his gaze. She was about to say that there was nothing there, but then she heard a soft sound, like wind rustling leaves and a mansion appeared.

“Oh,  _ that _ mansion,” Edmund said dryly.

Eustace chose that moment to catch up with the group and provided a much needed distraction. Although for some reason, the creatures called him a pig. They must’ve heard his snoring. “This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder,” he commented, and Susan couldn’t help but agree. Never had she come across such creatures. It seemed Narnia could still find ways to surprise her. Though, on a positive note, Eustace seemed to take the sight of small, one-footed people in a stride as he stepped further into the clearing. 

“The oppressor!” some of the creatures called, and started hopping away. Susan lowered her bow when Caspian gave his men the sign to let them go.

Turning around, they finally laid eyes on Lucy, who was accompanied by an older gentleman dressed in robes. “Lucy!” Susan called out, putting her arrow back in her quiver and pulling her sister in for a quick hug. 

“I’m alright,” Lucy assured her as they stepped back. The man bowed, and Lucy made introductions. “Edmund, Caspian, and Susan, this is Coriakin. It’s his island.”

The creatures protested mildly, and the man - Coriakin - seemed only mildly exasperated as he explained that he hadn’t oppressed them, but made them invisible for their own safety. Then, he threw something at them, scaring the creatures away. 

“What was that?” Lucy asked. 

“Lint. But don’t tell them that,” Coriaking replied with a wink. 

“What were those things?” Eustace asked, voicing a question Susan had been asking herself for some time now. 

“Dufflepuds,” the magician replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Right, of course, silly me,” Eustace muttered, and Susan had to suppress a smile. 

After that, they were all invited inside. The men were left in a chamber with a table set with delicious foods they were welcome to try. And after more than a week at sea and rationing their stores, they were more than happy to do so. 

But alas, Susan and her friends were not meant to join them. It seemed Coriakin wanted to speak to them in private, so he invited Susan, Lucy, Edmund, Caspian and Drinian back to his library. 

On the way there, Lucy asked some more about the Dufflepuds, whom, it turned out, had been made invisible to protect from the mist. Or ‘what lies behind the mist’, as Coriakin explained. At least they knew they were on the right track.

The library was gorgeous. Parts of the starry sky were showing, moving around, as though they were clouds of outer space trapped inside. Books hovered around on their own, and the 2 floors spoke to the sheer volume of Coriakin’s collection. It made Susan long for her own library back at Cair Paravel. Had their situation not been so dire, she might have asked permission to peruse the shelves for a while. 

Coriakin picked up a scroll and swiftly unrolled it, letting it unspool onto the floor. It was a map that instantly came alive, more colorful and realistic than any photograph. “It’s quite beautiful,” Eustace commented as they all gathered around. The edges of the map held drawings of Narnia’s history, and Susan could see the battle against the White Witch being played out. 

Lucy shot Eustace an amused look. “I mean for a make-belief map in a make-belief world,” he quickly amended. 

“There is the source of your troubles,” Coriakin said, ignoring the interaction. The surface of the map seemed to move, as though it was viewed through a bird’s eye as it travelled across the sea. “Dark Island.” The place in question looked as ominous as it sounded. “A place where evil lurks. It can take any form, it can make your darkest dreams come true,” the magician warned as he looked each of them in the eye. Though he seemed to linger on Edmund. “It seeks to corrupt all goodness, to steal all light from this world.”

“How do we stop it?” Lucy asked determinedly. Susan admired her bravery and determination, and worked to suppress the dread she felt building in her stomach.

“You must break its spell,” Coriakin replied. “That sword you carry,” he said, gesturing to Edmund’s newly cleaned blade. “There are 6 others.”

“You’ve seen them?” Edmund asked. 

Susan quickly looked at Caspian and saw his eyes fill with hope. “The 6 lords, they passed through here?” he asked urgently. 

The magician admitted that they had, and that he had sent them to end the spell. Now, he told their group that they must follow the blue star to Ramandu’s island where they had to place the 7 swords on Aslan’s table. 

“But beware,” he warned. “You will all be tested. Until you lay down the 7th sword, evil has the upper hand. It will do everything in its power to tempt you. Be strong. Don’t fall to temptation,” Coriakin said gravely. “To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness inside yourself.”

/*/

They spent another day on Coriakin’s island, gathering supplies and just enjoying being off the ship for a little while. Lucy and Susan spent a lot of that time together, and while they still had some issues to work through, Susan was just glad they were spending time together again. 

Edmund, though, had some trouble ceding to Caspian’s authority. He was used to being in charge, second only to his siblings. But even back in the Golden Age, they’d always been equals. Susan understood why Edmund disliked having to defer to someone else after having grown up in Peter’s shadow. She supposed it wasn’t much different than what Lucy was going through, and she hoped her siblings could find some support in one another. 

Caspian, however, didn’t seem to notice much of the tension. He adored Ed like a brother, but he’d never grown up with one, so seeing those signs was harder for him. Then again, Susan mused, hadn’t she herself failed to see them in Lucy? 

“What was that saying again? Penny for your thoughts?”

Susan looked down. She’d climbed into a tree with low-hanging limbs to read a book, but had quickly become lost in her own thoughts. And now, it seemed, Caspian had found her. 

“I’m afraid I’d be overcharging you,” she replied as she closed her book and tossed it at him gently. 

He caught it easily, and then, like a perfect gentleman, looked away as she made her way down. “I came to tell you we’ll be weighing anchor soon,” he said as she landed lightly behind him.

She nodded to herself and came to stand beside him. “I’ll go over the provisions and make a list,” she said, her mind already calculating how much the hold could store, and how much Drinian would have thought to gather. 

Caspian turned to face her. “Ready to go on?”

She smirked. “Don’t misunderstand me, I much prefer to be on steady ground, but it does have a certain charm. Up to a point,” she said, shooting him a look. 

“I wish I could promise we’ll set foot on land before we get to that point, but Coriakin’s directions were… vague at best,” he replied, and gestured for her to precede him down the path back to the beach. 

“I suppose we’ll just have to hope for the best, then,” she replied, feeling oddly cheerful. 

He grinned at her. “When did you become such an optimist?”

“Just now,” she replied cheekily. “I have a good feeling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a little early because guess what? I'm going to the premiere of Fantastic Beasts tonight!! So I won't have time to do anything but jump straight in the car after work.  
> Anyway, Enjoy!

**Chapter 8:**

“Next time I want to be optimistic, remind me of this moment!” Susan shouted over the raging of the storm. They’d been caught in this tempest for nigh on a fortnight, and everyone was bone tired. She was currently helping some of the men re-secure the cargo that had been stored on deck. 

“Oh come on, a little water never killed anyone,” Caspian shouted back. He was grinning, but his exhaustion was as obvious as that of everyone else. 

“This isn’t ‘a little’, this is a lot! And a lot of water actually  _ has _ killed people before,” she countered. 

She could tell that he wanted to say something, but another wave crashed over the edge of the ship, pushing both of them off balance. Susan hit the deck hard, but quickly shook it off and got back to her feet. Another few bruises would hardly make a difference. 

“You alright?” Caspian shouted, his hand on her arm. Susan nodded and grabbed the rope she’d been holding before, swiftly securing another barrel. 

The men all rotated shifts so that no one was out in the storm too much, but all the monarchs on board had been somewhat stubborn in that regard. None more so than Caspian. “Maybe you should go rest,” she shouted, her worried eyes squinting through the torrential rain to note his tired movements.

“I will when you do,” he said stubbornly. 

She regarded him for another moment, before nodding. “Fine, then let’s go.” They’d both already been at it for hours, and Susan was close to the end of her reserves. 

He stilled, clearly surprised, but assented all the same. They made their way to the captain’s quarters. Gael was as far down in the ship as she could go in order to combat her seasickness - less movement down there - while Lucy had just started a shift on deck, so the room was empty. 

In there, it was almost deafeningly quiet after the roar of the storm outside. Susan shivered. 

“You should get out of those wet clothes,” Caspian said, though he made no move to leave. 

Susan blushed. She must look a fright, and yet the way Caspian looked at her… it wasn’t a look she’d often seen on a man’s face. “So should you,” she replied.

They were standing quite close together, and this time, Susan’s shiver wasn’t due to the cold. 

She’d seen men look at her with lust in their eyes, calculating glances, or even disgusted ones, she’d seen some men regard her with friendship and nothing more, some with something akin to hero worship. Caspian… it was none of those, or maybe an amalgamation of some of them. She couldn’t tell. His eyes… it wasn’t a look she recognized. 

“Caspian,” she whispered. 

They’d somehow moved closer together without her noticing. She could feel his breath on her face. “Susan,” he breathed. 

Her hand came up of its own accord, her fingertips resting lightly against his cold cheek. Caspian’s hand - somehow warmer than her own - came to rest over hers, pressing it more closely against his skin. Under normal circumstances, Susan would have blushed, pulled her hand back and pretended none of this had happened. But she was so tired that she was having trouble remembering why she’d built up those walls around her heart in the first place. 

They were so close. All she would have to do is stand on her tiptoes, move her hand to his neck and pull him down. God, she wanted to kiss him so badly. 

“Su, you in there?” Edmund’s voice shattered the moment, though neither Susan nor Caspian moved. “Drinian wants to have a meeting, so you’d better change into something dry and warm. I’ll go find Caspian. Meet back here in five minutes!” Ed shouted through the door. 

As they heard his footsteps retreat, Susan and Caspian remained frozen for a moment, before they jumped apart. Susan felt a little stab of regret. Damn Edmund’s timing. 

Nervously, she tucked her hair behind her ears. 

“I should…” Caspian gestured over his shoulder at the door. He looked like he was going to say something else, but then shook his head minutely, deciding against it. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

And then he was gone. Susan sighed in frustration. She was really starting to hate being stuck on a ship. Living in such close quarters seemed only to have negative sides. She missed being able to go riding with one of the horses, going for a walk in the forest… sneaking into parts of the castle she probably shouldn’t be in the middle of the night. When she was young, that had meant the kitchens or the orchards at night. Now, she imagined hiding from passing fauns as she stealthily made her way to Caspian’s chambers…

She quickly shook her head. Thinking such things would not help her now. She swiftly changed into dry clothes - more of Caspian’s shirts that now no longer smelled like him - and sat down at the table, fiddling with her locket. She was fairly sure she was still blushing when Ed knocked and walked in, but hoped he’d chalk it up to the cold of the storm still clinging to her cheeks. 

Caspian, followed by Drinian, soon also came in. Susan made sure to look anywhere but at the King as he sat down on the bench beside Edmund.

“We need to make a decision,” Drinian said, to the point as always. He came to stand at the table, opposite where Susan sat and pointed at the map. “So, we’re stuck here. At half-rations, with food and water we can make it two more weeks at maximum. This is your last chance to turn back, your Majesties. There’s no guarantee we’ll spot the Blue Star anytime soon, not in this storm.” He looked them all in the eye gravely. “It’s a needle in a haystack, trying to find this Ramandy place. We could sail right past it and off the edge of the world.”

“Or get eaten by a sea serpent,” Edmund added unhelpfully. Susan sent him a dry look, letting him know she wasn’t amused. 

“I’m just saying,” Drinian went on,”the men are getting nervous. These are strange seas we’re sailing… the likes of which I’ve never seen before.”

It was quiet in the cabin for a beat until Caspian slowly stood up. “Then perhaps you’d like to be the one to explain to Mr. Rhince that we’re abandoning the search for his family,” he said softly. But there was steel in his voice Susan had rarely heard. 

Drinian bowed his head. “I’ll get back to it.”

But before the man had the chance to leave the room, Susan spoke. “Hold on. We have to think about this logically.”

Caspian met her eyes. “I understand if you don’t want to-”

“It’s not that I’m not willing to risk my life for Narnia or for the possibility of finding the other lords or possibly even Aslan’s country,” she interrupted. “But as always, I have to be the logical one, because Aslan knows none of you will do it!” She snapped, a little annoyed at the men’s refusal to think about all sides of this. “What do you think would happen should you die on this trip? If none of us come back?”

Caspian shook his head almost absently. “I’ve left my most trusted friends in charge, they’ll take care of Narnia in my absence.”

“That’s what we thought, too,” she said quietly, sadly. “When we woke up in England, we thought it wouldn’t be that bad, because we knew Mr. Tumnus would take care of the country, as well as the Beavers and Oreius. And I’m sure it went fine at first.” She turned away, her eyes finding the reliefs on the walls of the cabin. “But somewhere down the line, things got mucked up. The animals forgot how to speak, the Narnians were hunted to near extinction, and eventually, your uncle took the throne for himself.” She let that sink in for a while, and sent Ed a sympathetic look when she noticed the haunted look on his face. Then, she turned back to Caspian. “You have no wife and no heir. Your death could tear Narnia apart just as it’s found peace again. I love this land too much to bear seeing that happen again,” she whispered.

Everyone looked shocked at her passionate outburst, but her eyes were solely on Caspian, pleading with him to understand the severity of his choice. 

“I think…” he started carefully, “Narnia is stronger now. And I think you’re underestimating us. I refuse to go into this thinking I’m going to die, and I believe that so long as we have faith, Aslan will look after us.”

“Things never happen the same way twice, Su, that’s what Aslan told us, remember?” Edmund added.

But Susan kept her eyes locked with the King. “I’ll follow whatever decision you make,” she said softly. “As long as you understand the implications behind it.”

His eyes were soft, and Susan promptly forgot that anyone else was in the room with them. “I understand. But I believe we can succeed,” he said softly. 

Susan allowed herself to smile. “Than I shall stand by your side when we do.”

For a moment, they kept their gazes locked, until Drinian cleared his throat. “As I said, I’ll get back to it then,” he said, before he strode out the door. 

Edmund regarded them strangely for a moment, before he, too, stood up. “I’ve already had my rest, so I’ll go back up, see if I can help.”

“We’ll take a rest,” Caspian replied easily. Then, Edmund left the room, and they were alone once again. 

“Lucy will be coming down soon to take a break as well, we should…” Susan trailed off, gesturing vaguelly to the door. 

“Did you mean it?” Caspian asked suddenly. “When you said you’d stand by my side.”

Susan paused and looked at him. Really, looked at him. He was a great king, and an even better man. She nodded. “For as long as I’m able.”

There was the shadow cast by her impending departure - after all, Aslan wouldn’t let them stay as long as they had the first time, so once this adventure was over… - but for now Susan could ignore that. She’d been taking Edmund’s advice to heart, and she intended to continue to do so. 

But for now, she truly was exhausted, so she led Caspian down into the hold, where they both promptly fell asleep in their hammocks, no stories necessary this time. 

/*/

But while sleep did come easy that night, it was by no means restful. She wasn’t quite sure what the subject had been, but when she woke with a start, she saw that she wasn’t the only one. Caspian looked just as troubled, and little further off, Lucy stood beside Edmund’s hammock, looking worried. The latter even had his sword drawn. 

“I can’t sleep,” Lucy said in a small voice. It reminded Susan of how terribly  _ young _ Lucy still was. 

“Let me guess,” Ed said, lowering his sword. “Bad dreams.”

He looked around, and met everyone’s eyes. “So either we’re all going mad, or something is playing with our minds…”

Susan leaned back in her hammock, completely exhausted. Then she frowned. “Do you hear that?” she asked, swinging her legs over the side and sitting up. 

“No, what is it?” Lucy asked, regaining some of her boldness. 

“That’s just it… it’s quiet,” Susan replied, looking at the ceiling as though she could peer through it and onto the upper deck. 

Just then, a drenched Drinian walked in. “Good, you’re all up,” he said. “Storm’s waning.”

“Have you spotted the Blue Star?” Caspian asked immediately, getting out of his hammock.

Shaking his head, Drinian stepped inside fully. “We’re keeping our eye out for it, but so far, no luck. Tavros has the helm. With your permission…”

“Of course, rest, Drinian, I’ll return to the deck and handle things for a few hours.”

The First Mate nodded gratefully, and headed to his hammock.

“Well, we might as well all get up,” Susan said. None of them would be getting any more sleep. “Although, Lucy, perhaps you should check on Gael? Try and get some more sleep, maybe. You were up until just a few hours ago.”

Lucy nodded sleepily. She looked exhausted, the poor thing. Though Susan doubted she looked any better.

It was as they climbed the stairs to the upper deck that they finally heard the call. “Land ho!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

“I doubt the lords stopped here, your Majesty,” Reep said from the helm of the longboat on which he stood. “There’s no sign of anything living.”

Susan was sitting in the second boat, along with Edmund, Eustace, Lucy and Caspian. “We have to check, Reepicheep. Once we get to shore, take your men and search for food and water. The four of us will look for clues,” Caspian shouted back. 

“Hang on, you mean the five of us,” Eustace interrupted. 

Everyone in the second boat turned to look at the youth. Susan didn’t want to say it out loud, but chances were that if Eustace accompanied them, he’d muck things up sooner than help. “Come on, please don’t send me back to the rat…” he pleaded. 

Privately, Susan suspected that Eustace and Reep would make good friends once both of them let go of their preconceptions of one another. But that might not go over well, so she kept her silence. 

“I heard that!” Reep called over, glaring at Eustace. 

Eustace blushed. “Big ears,” he muttered under his breath. 

“I heard that too!”

Their bickering, though annoying at times, did break some of the tension this time around, as everyone let out a quiet chuckle. 

They rowed the rest of the way in silence. As the last time they went ashore, Susan was glad to have solid ground under her feet again. Ships were for short trips, not voyages that went on for weeks without an end in sight. 

As soon as the boats were pulled safely onto the beach, Eustace scurried away, probably to avoid having to actually do some work. Susan just rolled her eyes. Eventually, even Eustace would come around. Probably. 

“Come on, let’s start this way,” Edmund suggested, leading the rest of their little group off towards a hill. It didn’t really matter where they started looking. While it wasn’t a particularly big island, it was still a big place to search when there were only 4 of you. 

After a while walking under the hot sun, Ed noticed a rope tied to a rock, which led into a crevasse. Caspian speculated that the lords must have come through here.

“Wonder what’s down there,” Lucy commented as Caspian dropped a pebble into it to gauge the depth. 

“Only one way to find out,” Ed said, and tested the rope for its strength. 

Once they’d all descended, they found out that it was a cavern that hid a small lake of crystal clear water. Underneath its surface, a golden statue crouched, reaching as if to touch something. 

Edmund pulled one of the dry roots that protruded from the cavern walls and stuck it in the water to see how deep it was. But as soon as the wood touched the water, it started turning into gold. 

“Ed, drop it!” Susan shouted. Needlessly, as it turned out, because Edmund had already dropped the stick in surprise. 

After a beat, Susan looked up from the water at Caspian. If this water could turn anything it touched into gold…

“He must’ve fallen in,” Caspian mused, turning back to the water, and crouching at its edge. 

“Poor man,” Lucy whispered. 

“You mean poor lord,” Ed corrected, pointing at a halfway submerged golden shield. 

“The crest of Lord Reston,” Caspian murmured. Susan took a step forward and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“And his sword!” Edmund gestured to the weapon in question. It was fully submerged just a meter further, but it didn’t look like it lay very deep. 

Caspian got up, and Susan let her hand drop. “We need it,” the King said, though he did glance at Susan for a moment. 

She shivered, though it had nothing to do with Caspian this time. She felt uneasy as she looked around the cavern, despite the cheerful sunshine still lighting their way.

As Ed lifted the sword out of the water with his own - Caspian steadying him -  Lucy commented on how both blades seemed unaffected by the water. 

“The swords are magical,” Caspian replied, reaching for the latest sword with his free hand. 

“He mustn’t’ve known what hit him,” Lucy said sadly as she looked down at the golden lord again. 

“That’s a good thing, Lucy,” Susan said, coming to stand by her sister.

“Maybe,” Edmund muttered, causing both girls to turn to him. “Or maybe he was onto something.” Ed crouched by the water again, grabbed one of the shells laying around, and dipped it in the water. 

“Ed!” Susan exclaimed, taking a step towards her brother. But Ed had already let go of the shell, quickly putting it on the rocks beside him. They all watched as it turned to gold. The light refracted and lit up Edmund’s face in a way that Susan didn’t like. Once again, she shivered. 

“What are you staring at?” Lucy asked when Ed picked the shell up and examined it. 

“Whoever has access to this pool…” Ed said quietly, “could be the most powerful person in the world.”

Susan supposed it was true, but everything inside her recoiled at the idea of using it. This gold was cursed somehow. 

“Lucy, we’d be so rich,” Ed went on, looking at his younger sister. Once again, the light hit the shell, throwing spots of gold coloured light onto Edmund’s face, casting parts of it in shadow. Lucy looked hesitantly at her and Caspian, but Susan herself had no more a clue as to what to do than her sister. 

“No one could tell us what to do, or who to live with!”

“You can’t take anything out of Narnia, Edmund,” Caspian reasoned, stepping closer. 

But Ed was looking at the shell again, seemingly entranced with the possibilities it presented. “Says who?”

Caspian took another step closer. “I do.”

Susan rolled her eyes, as her brother got up and glared at Caspian. “Says experience, Edmund. We’ve never been able to take anything with us, only leave things behind.”

He rounded on her then. “Yeah, well you would say that, wouldn’t you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked defensively. Edmund stalked up to her and Susan had to resist the urge to take a step back. She’d never been afraid of her brother before, but there was something in his eyes now that she didn’t trust…

“You don’t even want to leave here. You’d abandon your family, and for what? A spineless sap like him?” he spat, gesturing to Caspian. 

The King jumped forward then, grabbing Edmund’s arm and pulling him away from Susan. “Do  _ not _ talk to her like that!” he ordered.

“I am not your subject,” Edmund hissed, forcefully pulling back his arm and glaring at Caspian.. 

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” Caspian said lowly, as the two men started to circle each other. “To challenge me. You doubt my leadership.”

Susan and Lucy exchanged incredulous looks. What on earth had gotten into them? 

“You doubt yourself,” Edmund shot back, stepping into Caspian’s personal space. 

“You’re a child!”

“And you’re a cowering fool!” Ed shouted. “I’m tired of playing second fiddle! First it was Peter, and now you! You  _ know _ I’m braver than both of you!” Ed said, his voice dangerously low, even as the hysteria was clear just underneath the surface. Caspian just smirked. “And why do you get Peter’s sword? I  _ deserve _ a kingdom of my own, I  _ deserve _ to rule!”

Susan and Lucy had no idea what was going on, and no clue as to how to stop the men. They hadn’t come to blows, and Susan was apprehensive about interrupting again, lest their anger turn on her. 

“You think you’re so brave,” Caspian said. “Prove it!” he shouted, and  _ pushed Edmund  _ in the chest.

Edmund shouted and swung his sword, but luckily, Caspian parried it easily. That’s when the girls decided to intervene. 

Lucy pushed Edmund off balance, while Susan parried a blow from Caspian’s sword with the steel tip of her bow. The men stopped attacking, but kept glowering at one another, their breaths laboured. 

“Stop it!” Lucy snapped, her hands held up as she looked at Edmund. Susan glared at Caspian, her hand clenched around her bow, and ready to use it to knock some sense into him if she had to.

“Look at yourselves!” Lucy said. Susan was happy to let her little sister take the reins in this situation, she didn’t trust herself not to get angry. “Can’t you see what’s happening? This place has tempted you, it’s bewitching you!” she said. “This is exactly what Coriakin was talking about.” Susan couldn’t be entirely certain, but she thought she heard an undercurrent in Lucy’s voice that she couldn’t quite identify, and made a mental note to ask her about it later. 

“Let’s just get out of here,” the younger Queen said, and started walking away. 

But Susan wasn’t quite ready. “You and Ed go on,” she said, offering no further explanation. As she glanced from Caspian to Edmund, she could tell that the angry haze had lifted, and that they would be fine. 

Lucy hesitated, but then nodded and preceded her brother out of the cavern. As soon as Susan couldn’t hear them anymore, she turned back to Caspian. “Is that really what you think?” she asked quietly. 

Caspian looked uncomfortable. 

“You shouldn’t doubt your leadership, Caspian. No one else does. You’ve done in 3 years what it took us almost 10 to accomplish, and even then, we never managed to get the giants to settle down completely.” She sighed and stepped closer, putting a hand on his chest when he continued to look uncertain. “You’re a good king, and an even better man,” she said, echoing her own thoughts from the day before. 

Caspian put his hand over hers. Susan decided to ignore how it tingled all over. “I shouldn’t have said those things, I didn’t mean them,” he muttered. 

“He knows,” she said quietly. Then, she pulled back her hand and took a step backwards. You know, so she could breathe properly again. “Although if you ever speak to my brother like that again, I might have to slap you,” she teased. 

He looked up at her, frowning. “The way he spoke to you…”

Shrugging, Susan finally unstrung her bow. She doubted she’d need it again today. “He’s said far worse. As have I. We’re siblings, it’s what we do,” she said lightly. Caspian was still frowning when she looked up after she’d put her bow away, and she felt a small pang at the lonely childhood he must’ve had. “Once, when I was about 6, I told Peter I hoped he’d die because he’d hidden my dollie in the backyard and had gotten it all covered in mud. This was after I’d called his marbles dumb and him stupid for playing with them,” she recounted, smiling amusedly at the memory as she fingered her locket. The picture inside had been taken a few years before they’d first found Narnia. “Siblings do and say hurtful things to one another all the time, mostly in ager. It’s understood that we didn’t mean them.”

Once again, she stepped closer to him. “Neither of you were yourselves.”

He finally managed a small smile, then. “Are you implying that Edmund is my brother?”

“Isn’t he?” she replied simply. “We’re all family.”

“Then what does that make you and me?” he asked boldly. 

Susan froze. They’d been getting closer, she was well aware of that, but they’d both so carefully stayed away from labelling exactly what they were to one another. What their feelings meant. “Caspian,” she whispered. 

He came closer, put his hand on her cheek. “What I feel for you is hardly what one should feel for one’s sister,” he murmured, and Susan promptly forgot how to breathe. Her heart was racing. He was  _ so _ close, and this time, there would be no one to interrupt. 

“We can’t,” she whispered, barely audibly.

“Why not?” he asked stubbornly.

Her rapidly beating heart recoiled at the pain she now felt. The pain she’d been trying to protect herself from. “Because I’ll have to leave,” she replied, her voice breaking. 

Caspian’s only response was to pull her closer, resting his forehead against hers and putting his free arm around her waist. Susan’s hands rested over his chest, where she could feel his heart beating as fast as hers was. 

But did she really want it to end here? Could she really walk away from him now and pretend that they didn’t feel anything towards each other? That her heart didn’t ache every time they were apart? 

She wasn’t sure that she could. 

So, much as she’d done when she’d had to leave Narnia the last time, she snaked her hands around his neck, pulling his head down, and pressed her lips to his.

Where previously, it had been a kiss of what-could-have-beens, this time, it was a kiss borne of desperation. She hadn’t loved him last time, not truly. But now, her heart belonged to him, and there was no going back. She wasn’t sure that she would want to go back, even if she could. 

His lips moved willingly against hers, just as desperate to hold on to whatever this was between them, for as long as they could. Susan longed to deepen the kiss, but knew that if she did, she’d be lost down here in the cavern forever. Perhaps this was her test? 

With what willpower she had left, she pulled back, resting her head against his once more. They were both panting, and both strained to be together again. Susan was acutely aware of how closely she was pressed against Caspian, how all that separated them were a few layers of clothing. 

Aslan, how was she supposed to resist this? 

“Not that I’m complaining,” Caspian started, and Susan could hear the smile in his voice. “But weren’t you the one just saying that we can’t do this?” he teased. 

Despite herself, she smiled. “Prat,” she said, pulling back. 

“No, I’m sorry, I was kidding,” Caspian said, though he was clearly struggling to reign in his laughter, as he pulled her back into his embrace. She went willingly, settling against his chest. 

For a moment, they just stood there, revelling in each other’s presence. 

“I don’t ever want to think about you leaving,” Caspian murmured. 

Sighing, Susan turned her head so that she could listen to his heartbeat. “Neither do I,” she admitted. “But we’ll have to face reality sooner or later.”

“Must we?” His voice rumbled underneath her ear. “Can we not simply be happy in the time that is given to us?”

“I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough to leave if we do,” she whispered. 

“What was that phrase Edmund used? We’ll cross that bridge…?”

“When we come to it,” she finished for him, smiling despite herself. Perhaps that  _ was  _  the best strategy: to take it one step at a time. “Then, I suppose we should find the others.”

“Should we tell them…?”

Susan shook her head. “There’s no reason to bring them into this… whatever  _ this _ is.”

Smiling softly, Caspian grasped her hand. “One step at a time, then?”

“One step at a time,” she agreed. 

And with that, they left the cavern behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, the cavern scene was one of my faves to write! More fluff to come!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

Before they reached the shore, though, they heard Edmund shouting. 

“Eustace!”

Susan and Caspian exchanged one worried look, before hurrying on. As soon as she saw her brother, the Gentle Queen broke into a run. “What happened?” she shouted.

“Eustace wandered off, we can’t find him!” Edmund responded, closing the distance. 

“Susan, look out!” Caspian yelled from behind her. 

She only just had time to glance over her shoulder before an honest to goodness  _ dragon _ grabbed her in its talon and lifted her up. In her shock, she dropped her bow, though she still carried her quiver over her shoulder. 

The beast carried her further over the land, away from the ocean and her family. Susan reached up to grab an arrow to defend herself with, but was unable to get it out of the quiver. Just as she cursed her lack of bladed weapons, the dragon swooped, and she automatically grabbed its talons for balance. 

That’s when she noticed the scorched ground. It spelled out ‘I am Eustace’. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” she muttered. “Eustace?” she called up to the dragon, who looked down at her with baleful eyes. 

He swiftly took her back to the beach, where Caspian, Edmund, Lucy and a handful of others were gathered. “Don’t shoot!” Susan yelled as soon as she noticed the crossbows pointed at her cousin. 

“Hold!” she heard Caspian shouted. The men look uneasy, but at least Susan didn’t think they’d fire on them any time soon. 

Eustace dropped Susan when she was about a foot from the ground, and then landed with a heavy thud beside her. “Don’t shoot!” she repeated, holding up her hands. “It’s Eustace.”

“Excuse me?” Edmund said, frowning at her. 

“The dragon, it’s Eustace. He somehow managed to get himself turned into… this,” she said, gesturing to the scaly beast cowering behind her. 

“But how?” asked Lucy, who stepped forward fearlessly to get a closer look at her cousin. 

The dragon bent over and bit and scratched at a large golden bracelet that was stuck around his right forearm. It looked painfully too small, so when Lucy removed it, Eustace let out an understandably pained growl. 

“He must’ve been tempted by the dragon’s treasure,” Edmund said, sounding sad and a little guilty. Susan was reminded of his fight with Caspian in the cave. It wouldn’t be the first time a member of their family was tempted by riches. 

“Everyone knows a dragon’s treasure is cursed,” Caspian replied. He probably hadn’t said it to offend, but Eustace still snorted and glared at him. Possibly aware that Eustace was now large and dangerous enough to take on even the King, he backtracked. “Well, anyone from here…”

“Is there any way to change him back?” Susan asked. 

“Not that I know of,” Caspian said regretfully, before turning to Drinian. The First Mate generally knew more about these things than anyone, but here, he seemed as stumped as the rest of them. 

They stood around in awkward silence for a moment, contemplating their next move, until Tavros shouted that the longboats were ready to return back to the ship. 

“We can’t leave him here by himself,” Lucy argued. 

Eustace was too big to go on board, so it was decided that Drinian would take the men back to the ship, while Caspian, the Pevensies and Reepicheep would stay ashore to figure out what to do. Luckily, Eustace’s fire would keep them warm, because it didn’t seem as though the day’s heat would keep them warm much longer. 

/*/

That night, they all sat around the fire that their new resident dragon had provided. Reepicheep kept Eustace company, while Lucy and Edmund discussed revisiting the treasure to see if they could find some clues as to how to undo this. 

While they had no provisions - as Mr. Rhince had pointed out before he’d left with the others - they had plenty of fresh water. Drinian and his men had found a small stream not too far, and Lucy had located some flavorful leaves, which Susan brewed into tea. It wasn’t much, but as they sat silently around the fire, it was somehow enough. 

Susan sat next to Caspian, leaning her head on his shoulder as she clasped her locket. No one had commented on their newfound closeness, thank Aslan, so she was going to take it as licence to relax a little more. The only other ones here were her family and Reep, after all.

“I’ve never seen these constellations before,” Edmund muttered. 

Lucy was lying on her side, already fast asleep, and Reep was quietly talking to Eustace a little ways away, so Susan and Caspian were the only ones to have heard him.

“Me neither,” Caspian replied softly, gazing upwards. 

“We’re a long way from home,” Susan added sleepily, already closing her eyes as she burrowed into his shoulder.

“When I was a boy,” Caspian started, his voice barely above a whisper, “I used to imagine sailing to the end of the world… finding my father there.”

Susan opened her eyes and lifted her head to look at him, but Caspian kept his eyes on the stars above.

“Maybe you will,” Edmund offered as he settled in to sleep as well. 

But Susan couldn’t tear her gaze away. There was still so much she didn’t know about the boy sitting next to her… “Do you miss him?” she asked, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb the others.

Caspian considered that question for a moment. “I think I miss the idea of him more. I was a mere babe when he died... “

“I can’t even imagine,” Susan whispered. “My parents are both well and alive in England… Do you know much about them? Your parents, I mean.”

Finally, Caspian looked down, shifting his gaze from the heavens to her eyes. “I’ve only been able to find out more these past few years. Before that… it was only the professor who could give me an honest answer to my questions.”

He sighed as he looked down, and, though she wanted to ask more, Susan knew that she had to keep her silence now. He would tell her when he was ready, be that now or… or never. But Caspian, it seemed, had only needed a moment to collect his thoughts. “Everyone always says that my mother was kind, and gentle, easy to laugh and slow to anger. My father had more of a temper, but one look from my mother and he’d quiet down.” A smile tugged at his lips. “ She was evidently not above using her charms to get my father to be reasonable at times.”

“Ah, a woman after my own heart,” Susan commented. 

At this, Caspian looked up again, a little startled. Had he forgotten that she was there, or had he just not expected her to say anything? Or perhaps he was noticing the mirror their relationship presented to that of his parents’. Except for the laughter. Susan was ever generous with her smiles, but her laughter was reserved for a select few only. 

Caspian blinked and the moment passed. “I like to imagine they would have liked you,” he said, his eyes once again focussed solely on hers. “Your family, too.”

“I would have liked to have met her,” Susan replied. In the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but imagine what that might have been like; to be presented to the King and Queen of Telmar as their son’s… whatever she was to him. Meeting a boy’s parents back in England was a significant step, but Susan wasn’t sure how it was viewed here in Narnia. After all, the only experience she had with anything of the sort was that dreadful situation with Rabadash and the other suitors who came to ask for her hand. And in those situations, she’d been a Queen, a ruler of Narnia. What must it be like for regular Narnians or Telmarines? 

He was smiling at her. 

“Sorry, did you say something?” she asked, aware of the blush staining her cheeks. 

He chuckled. “You just seemed lost in thought, is all.”

“I was just… thinking what it would have been like. Meeting your parents,” she explained. “I’ve never been presented to anyone’s parents before, so I’m sure I would have been dreadfully nervous.”

His eyes softened. “Probably only as nervous as I would have been.”

Susan hid her smile and leaned down to lay back. “It’s beautiful here,” she whispered. Caspian joined her on the ground, and she could feel his gaze on her. “There’s too much light in England, you can barely make out the brightest stars. But here… even the most faded ones, the ones struggling to shine at all… even those have a chance to be noticed.”

“Breathtaking,” Caspian said, so quietly, Susan wasn’t sure she’d heard it at all. Even so, she couldn’t hide the blush that once again graced her cheeks.

“Good night, Caspian.”

“Good night, my Queen.”

/*/

They were awoken the next morning by Lucy, shouting gleefully. 

“Wake up! Everybody, wake up! It’s the Blue Star!”

Susan lifted her head from her pillow - which, incidentally, happened to be Caspian’s chest - to look up at the sky. And there, hovering just above the Dawn Treader, was the infamous Blue Star that would guide them to Ramandu’s island. 

Finally,  _ finally _ , they’d find some answers, and perhaps be able to defeat the evil that had taken Mr. Rhince’s wife and so many other citizens from the Lone Islands. 

Caspian grinned down at her, before swiftly getting up and offering her a hand up. He quickly set off to the longboat, readying it for departure. Susan caught her brother’s eye, who raised a brow at her, a slight smirk playing around his mouth. “You know when I said that you should live in the moment, this isn’t what I meant,” he said, but Susan could tell he was jesting. 

She rolled her eyes at him. “You said not to live with regrets. And I don’t currently regret anything,” she replied enigmatically. 

A gust of wind distracted the siblings, and directed their attention to their dragonesque cousin, who - with Reep sitting on his head - was now flying towards the ship. He circled it, seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then landed on the water, spreading his wings like large sails to keep himself afloat. He wouldn’t be able to keep it up forever, but it would be less exhausting than flying, especially at the snail’s pace the ship could go in comparison. 

It took but a few moments to ready the longboat and row back to the ship. Once there, Susan and Lucy made sure to be out of the way as every hand was on deck, preparing to leave. It seemed fortune was finally smiling on their journey. 

Then again, maybe she’d celebrated too quickly. Barely an hour into their journey, the wind slacked until there was nary a breeze. They were stuck. And when it didn’t pick back up again, Drinian gave the order: “Man the oars!”

For once, the upper deck was nearly deserted, so Susan and Lucy took the opportunity to take in some sunshine. So far, the crew had refused their help, but Susan had planned on offering again at a later time. If things kept going the way they were now, they’d need all the help they could get to man the oars.

“So I take it you talked to Caspian?” Lucy asked slyly, clearly holding back a smile. 

Susan sighed and playfully rolled her eyes at her sister. “I did.”

“So?” Lucy asked when her sister didn’t elaborate. “What happened? Obviously it went well.”

Tilting her head towards the sun, Susan mused on their conversation in the cavern. They’d agreed not to tell Susan’s siblings, but now that Lucy was asking… And what, exactly should she say? “It did go well. It was… nice.”

“You admitted how you feel?” Lucy prodded, sounding excited. 

Susan looked down at her little sister. Lucy was of an age now that boys would interest her, and Susan  _ had _ noticed her little sister eyeing her sparse make-up. “I did. And he did. I don’t know, it was all a little… strange. But good… I’m not making much sense, am I?”

“No,” Lucy said, grinning. “But I don’t think you’re supposed to. So what are you going to do now?”

The smile Susan had been wearing slipped away. “I’m not sure.  We decided to just enjoy one another’s company and see where we go from here. But…”

“You’re scared,” Lucy finished. 

“I don’t know how not to be. We’ve finally spotted the Blue Star, and we’ve collected almost all the swords… This adventure is almost over, and I’m not ready.”

Lucy put her arm around the elder Queen. “I’m sure Aslan wouldn’t have let this happen if you were just going to get hurt,” Lucy assured her, ever hopeful. 

“I just don’t see how. Either I’ll have to leave, which will be painful, or I won’t. And both know the latter is impossible. Caspian is King, there’s no place for an extra King and two Queens. Not to mention Eustace, what would he even do here? What would any of us do?”

Lucy’s smile dimmed. “I don’t know. I just trust in Aslan.”

“I’m trying, Lu. I’m trying so hard for that steady faith you have, but I simply can’t do it.” She sighed. “So, I’m avoiding thinking about it altogether. I’ll just take every moment as it comes and deal with the pain when it gets here.”

Lucy opened her mouth to say something - probably to trust in Aslan - but Susan didn’t give her a chance. “I’m going to see if they need help manning the oars.”

She’d barely gotten below decks - and turned down - when something jolted the ship. Susan scrambled back up the narrow steps in time to hear the few men who were on deck cheering. It appeared that Eustace had found a way out of their current predicament by pulling the ship with his tail. Elated, Susan joined in on the cheering. 

“Right, lads! Let’s get this ship ready for when the wind returns!” Drinian shouted, putting the men back to work. 

Grinning, Susan motioned to the First Mate that she would go find Caspian, and then went below decks. She wanted to tell Caspian the good news. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

As she went to knock, she noticed that the door was left open a crack. She heard Caspian and Edmund talking inside. It seemed Caspian wasn’t so confident in finding the other lords anymore now that they’d gotten so far. She heard Edmund reassure him. 

“They were tempted,” Edmund said. “And they faltered.”

“And we almost did too.”

Shaking her head, Susan pushed open the door. “The operative word there being almost,” she said, softly closing the door behind her. “Everyone falters, Caspian. The important part is getting back up after you’ve fallen and trying again. And you have plenty of people by your side to help you back up.”

Edmund, with a wry smile, turned to his sister. “Well said, Su,” he told her. “I’ll go see if I can help on decks.”

Susan had to stop herself from glaring when her brother winked as he passed by her. Honestly, little brothers could be so annoying. But she pushed that aside and turned back to Caspian, who had gotten up from his seat at the table. “I just came to tell you that Eustace is now dragging to ship and that we’re making good time. I’m sure we’ll reach Ramandu’s island soon.”

He sighed and stepped closer, catching her hand in his. “Is it completely awful that there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to reach the island?” he said quietly, looking down at their intertwined fingers. 

“If it is, that would make me just as awful,” she whispered. She’d been trying so hard not to think too much about what reaching the island and finding the last of the lost lords would mean for her. Aslan would show up, and she’d have to go back home. She couldn’t find it in herself to regret the closeness she now shared with Caspian, but the pain she could already feel inside her chest was crushing. What would she do when she got back to England? 

Caspian’s other hand came to rest on the back of her neck as he rested his forehead against hers. It was such a simple gesture, but so intimate at the same time. “I wish we didn’t have to part,” he whispered.

Susan’s own hands had found their way to his chest, and felt the rhythm of his heartbeat under her fingers. “I can’t stay here,” she breathed. “And I can picture you in England even less. I don’t know what you’d do there… You wouldn’t be a king, and that… it’s what you were born to be.”

Caspian pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes. “As were you.”

Shaking her head, Susan pulled him closer once more, this time resting her head on his chest as he tightened his arms around her. “No. There’s this saying in England that goes something like this; ‘Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them’. I think I fit into the latter category. It might have been my destiny, but I could have done something else, too. But you  _ are _ a King. It was what you are meant to do, and I believe anything else would feel empty.”

“It might not with you by my side,” he murmured. 

This time, Susan pulled back all the way, breaking all physical contact. “No,” she said shaking her head. “You can’t say something like that. Not ever. No matter how much you care for me, Caspian, if you were to give all this up, you would resent me for it in the end.”

“Then what do you want me to say?” he said, clearly frustrated. “You keep pointing out how this is inevitably going to end, that we can’t be together. But I’m-”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Before Caspian could go on arguing, Susan answered it. 

“Begging your pardon, your majesties, but land’s been sighted,” Drinian said once the door was opened.

“We’ll be right up, Drinian,” Susan replied, to which the First Mate bowed, and then left. She turned back to Caspian. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I don’t know what else to say. If, for a moment, I forget what is going to happen when this adventure is over… my heart couldn’t take it. I’ve been trying to prepare myself for it. I understand that hearing me say that is painful for you, but it’s the only way I know to keep at least a part of my heart alive,” she said quietly, before turning on her heel and following Drinian out. 

Much as she dreaded it, she knew this wouldn’t be their last conversation on the subject…

/*/

The island was beautiful. Waterfalls, exotic flowers and and some ancient ruins gave the place an almost fairy tale like quality. Susan, however couldn't help but feel watched. She kept looking over her shoulder until Caspian, who’d been walking close by, gently took hold of her hand and squeezed. She looked up into his earnest brown eyes and knew the gesture to be both an apology and a reassurance. 

Sending him a smile back before reclaiming her hand, Susan turned her attention back to the entrancing environment around them. They followed the only clear path up towards the ruins. It painfully reminded her of the ruins of Cair Paravel they’d discovered the last time they arrived in Narnia, but she pushed that thought aside. As they passed underneath the roots of an enormous tree, the party found themselves in what appeared to be a dining hall. An ornate, stone table was set for a dozen people, and, strangely enough, all the food looked fresh. 

Tavros immediately reached for an apple, only to be stopped by Drinian. “Wait,” the first mate said quietly, putting a hand on the minotaur’s chest to stop him. Susan nodded at the man, agreeing that the food should probably not be touched for the moment. 

Suddenly, Edmund gasped, and Susan whirled around, and arrow already nocked on her bow. Three figures sat at the far end of the table, though there was no food in front of them, and they were covered in dry vines. It looked like they’d been there for ages. Lowering her bow, but not putting the arrow away just yet, Susan stepped closer to investigate, along with Caspian. Edmund and Lucy did the same on the other side of the table. 

“Lord Revillian,” Caspian said, the tip of his sword pointed at the signet ring one of the figures wore. He moved aside some of the vines to look at the second figure’s hands. “Lord Mavramorn. Lord Argoz,” he said, looking at each of the remaining figures in turn. 

Lucy had walked around to the figure sitting at the head of the table, and now moved his grey hair aside to get a better look at his face; But she cried out suddenly, pulling back her hand. 

“He’s breathing,” Caspian muttered incredulously as he leaned closer for a better look. 

“So are they,” said Edmund, shining his torch at the man closest to him - Lord Argoz. “They’re under a spell.”

“How-?” Susan started, but was quickly interrupted. 

“It’s the food!” Caspian cried out, whirling around to look at the settings on the table. Tavros, who had once again reached for an apple, quickly withdrew his hand. 

Edmund, meanwhile, was removing some more of the vines. “Hey! It’s the stone knife!” he said, pointing his torch. “This is Aslan’s table!”

“The swords,” Caspian murmured, pulling out Lord Revillion’s blade. Susan put her arrow back in her quiver and took Lord Mavramorn’s sword, as Edmund did the same for Lord Argoz’s. “Here, put them on the table!”

One by one, the swords were laid down on the table, including the one Edmund had been using, and the two they’d found on Dragon’s Island. “That’s six,” Edmund said unhelpfully. “We’re still missing one.”

But then, the swords glowed blue, reflecting the light of the Blue Star that had suddenly increased in strength, until it looked more like dawn than midnight. 

“Look, it’s moving!” Lucy exclaimed, and everyone watched as the star descended to the island, transforming into a woman as she landed. A very beautiful woman. A very beautiful woman whom none of the men seemed to be able to stop staring at. 

“Travellers of Narnia, welcome,” she said. She glowed a gentle blue, and exuded an air of grace and regality that made it exceedingly clear that she was a higher being. Next to her, Susan felt like a vagrant. Regardless, they all felt inclined to bow before such a majestic figure. 

“Arise,” the figure said with a kind smile. “Are you not hungry?”

“Who are you?” Edmund asked, a touch of reverence in his voice. Susan only just managed to keep from rolling her eyes at her brother. 

“I am Lilliandil,” the figure responded, “daughter or Ramandu. I am your guide,” she said, a twinkle of mischief in her eye.

Edmund glanced at Susan, and they, along with Caspian and Lucy approached. “You’re a star,” Caspian surmised. Even he seemed impressed with the Lady, and Susan couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at the fact.

“You are most beautiful,” Edmund muttered, unable to keep his eyes off her. 

“If it is a distraction for you, I can change forms,” Lilliandil said, looking genuinely worried. 

For a moment, Susan’s annoyance dissipated. Then, both Kings exclaimed “No!” and Susan shot Caspian a glare. At least he had the decency to look sheepish. 

Lilliandil smiled innocently, and Susan suspected that humans were strange to her. “Please,” the star said, “the food is for you.” She raised her arms and lit the candles on the table with a wave of her hands. “There is enough for all who are welcome at Aslan’s table. Always. Help yourselves,” she said enthusiastically.

But before the men could reach for the food, Susan stepped forward. “Wait! What happened to those men?” she asked, gesturing to the three Lords. 

Lilliandil looked sad. “Those men were half mad when they arrived at our shores. They were threatening violence upon each other, which is forbidden at the table of Aslan. So they were sent to sleep,” she explained. 

“Will they ever wake?” Lucy asked, though Susan was more curious as to who had put them to sleep in the first place.

“When all is put right,” the star answered with a soft smile and a nod. “Come. There is little time,” she said, gesturing for the monarchs to follow her. Caspian nodded as Drinian, who let the men finally dig into the food. Susan quelled her own hunger for the time being. They had more important things to worry about.

Lilliandil glided over the forest floor as she led them towards a cliff edge, that was made to look like a balcony. “The magician Coriakin told you of Dark Island?” she asked, her eyes fixed in the distance.

As Susan and the others joined her, they could see dark shadows move, a weak, sickly green light shining from within. There was no doubt that this was Dark Island. 

“Before long, the evil will be unstoppable,” Lilliandil said. 

“Coriakin said to break its spell, we lay the seven swords at Aslan’s table,” Caspian said. 

The star turned to face him. “He speaks the truth.”

“But we only found six,” Edmund pointed out, frowning. “If the last sword isn’t here…” he trailed off, his eyes landing on the shadowclad island in the distance. 

Lilliandil nodded regretfully. “It is in there,” she confirmed. “You will need great courage.”

Everyone turned to stare at the ominous island. The last Lord must have sailed there thinking to defeat the evil on his own…

“You mustn’t waste time,” Lilliandil said urgently. “Good luck, champions of Narnia.” And with that, the light that surrounded her intensified until she turned back into a star and shot upwards into the sky. 

“Right,” Caspian said, tearing his eyes from the ever diminishing light. “We’ll eat and rest until morning. We’ll sail for Dark Island an hour after dawn.”

/*/

The group turned back to join the men at Aslan’s table, more subdued now than before. 

Lucy’s hand slipped into Susan’s, squeezing gently. “It’ll be alright, won’t it?” she asked quietly. 

Susan pulled her hand free to put her arm over her sister’s shoulders. “We’ve faced worse odds. All we have to do is find a sword and bring it back here. I’m not going to pretend it won’t be dangerous, and I’m not even entirely sure what we’ll face in there... “

“But we can face it together?” Lucy finished with a grin. 

“Exactly.” Smiling, Susan wrapped her little sister in a hug. “Together.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh, second to last chapter! Is anyone else excited? Because I'm excited! I really want to know what you guys will think of the ending, so please let me know!

**Chapter 12:**

Afterwards, they hurried along to Aslan's table and grabbed something to eat. The food looked exquisite, but Susan could hardly taste it.  _Together,_ she'd told Lucy… She glanced down the table, to the sailors whose spirits had been lifted a bit due to the good food, and to Edmund and Caspian, whispering tactics. She looked at Lucy, exchanging small talk with one of the fauns.

A sense of dread filled her. What if something went wrong on this mission? It was hardly the safest thing they'd ever done. Even charging into battle with the White Witch hadn't felt quite like this. At least they'd been able to strategize, now… they didn't even know what it was they would face. And Susan hated that uncertainty.

A hand curled around her wrist under the table, and she looked over at Caspian, who shot her a reassuring look. She smiled back gratefully and repositioned her hand so she could entwine their fingers. Much still needed to be said, but for now, Susan was content to just sit with her family and enjoy their presence, even if she didn't say much.

Later that night, after everyone had eaten their fill, they all returned to the ship for a good night's rest. They'd need it in the morning. For once, Susan and Caspian did not exchange stories. Susan was sure there were still a million left she could tell, but she couldn't think of any, nor find her voice to tell them. After laying awake for near an hour, she lifted her head, only to see Caspian staring at the ceiling. And still, she couldn't seem to find the words to say. Instead, she extended her hand towards him.

His eyes immediately founds hers, even in the dark, and a moment later, his hand curled around hers.

/*/

Gael had to remain behind on Ramandu's island, and Lilliandil promised to look after the child, and send her back to the Lone Islands should the battle go ill.

On the way towards the shadowy island, everyone speculated in hushed voices on what might be found there. Nothing anyone came up with was in any way comforting.

Edmund had borrowed some armour from Caspian, and as they stood side by side, they each looked every bit a king. They, along with Susan, Lucy and Drinian were stood at the helm of the ship, while Eustace and Reep flew overhead.

"In case we don't get through," Caspian murmured quietly, "I want you to know that I think of you as my brother." The words were obviously only meant for Edmund's ears, but Susan had heard, and was moved. This was a far cry from the argument the two Kings had had in that cavern on Dragon Island, as Lucy had dubbed it.

Edmund nodded at him. "Me too."

Lucy, who had been standing next to Susan, grabbed her older sister's hand, pulling her attention from the conversation between the two men. "Gael told me she wanted to be just like me when she grew up."

That drew a smile from the elder Queen. "And what did you say?"

The Valiant Queen looked straight ahead at the shadows they were heading towards. "I told her she should be like herself," she replied quietly. Then, she turned to look at her sister. "I'm sorry I thought differently."

It seemed that not only Edmund and Caspian had grown in their time aboard. "As am I. I know I'm not always the best sister, but I love you. You know that, don't you?"

Lucy smiled softly at her. "Of course. And I love you too. No matter what happens… or which choices we make."

Confused, Susan was about to ask what Lucy had meant by that, but before she could, Caspian stepped forward to address the men.

"No matter what happens here," he said, his voice clear and commanding, as befitting a king. "Every soul standing before me has earned their place on the crew of the Dawn Treader. Together we have travelled far Together, we have faced adversity. And  _together_ , we can do it again. I don't know what we will face in there, but I know this place will play on our fears and temptations. But I also know that each and every one of you is strong, courageous and steadfast. I  _know_ that you will resist whatever will be thrown at you, for you are Narnians. And together… we will be victorious," he finished, looking just the slightest bit unsure.

But just as Caspian stepped back, one of the men shouted. "For Narnia!" The cheer was quickly adopted by everyone else on the ship, until they all shouted as one. "For Narnia!" Susan added her voice to the chorus.

Caspian glanced back at her, his face in awe at the trust his men were putting in him. She grinned at him, hoping that he could see just how much she loved him and believed in him. After a moment, his surprised melted into an equally broad grin as he, too, took up the cheer. Even Eustace roared from his position soaring over the ship.

It served to hearten the crew, so that when the shadows lurked ahead, they faced it head on, together and unafraid.

/*/

Once inside the shadows, the world grew eerily quiet. It was as if all sound was somehow muffled by the smoke. It made the hairs on Susan's neck stand on end. Everything about this place screamed 'unnatural'.

Soon enough, green wisps of mist curled around the ship and the crew. Whispers floated on the muffled air, incomprehensible yet invasive. Every once in a while, the mist would take on a shape, but Susan was at a loss for what to do.

"Susan."

Suddenly, one of the whispers became the tiniest bit clearer than the others. Susan whipped around, trying to determine where it came from. Eyes stared back at her from the fog.

"You have failed me, Susan."

The voice was male, and achingly familiar, but Susan dared not put a name to it.

"You've destroyed it all, Susan. Narnia and England alike. You paid no heed to what your actions would wreak, and now it is all lost," the voice said, sounding surprisingly calm.

Susan knew what the voice meant. She'd been having nightmares about it for days; no matter what she chose - either to stay with Caspian, or go back with her family - she would mess it up and everything would be lost. Narnia in ruins, her family split apart… her worst nightmare.

"Go away," she whispered. She was vaguely aware that others on the ship were having similar… visions, or whatever they were, but she could focus on nothing else but the voice.

"It's all your fault, Susan," the voice said, and finally, it took shape. A great lion padded calmly across the deck, unseen by any but her. It's hackles were raised and it looked poised to attack, something that Aslan - no matter the wildness about him - never possessed. "No matter where you go, ruin will follow. Your love is what will kill them."

"Shut up," she said, more forcefully. "You're nothing but a manifestation of my fears, you can't harm me."

"Does that make me any less real?" It asked. "Does that make it any less true?"

Before she could come up with a response, the figure vanished, and Susan was left to collect herself. Her heart was racing and her breath came in shallow gasps. All around her, people were going through the same things. Edmund was staring intently as a wisp of smoke, looking as unsettled as Susan felt. Caspian, likewise seemed shaken when the green fog nearest to him dissipated.

"No!" Edmund shouted, prompting Lucy to ask him if he was alright.

"This place is messing with our minds," Susan said to them under her breath. "It's not real." Then, more quietly; "It can't be real."

A howl broke through the incoherent whispers, and everyone turned to the starboard side, peering into the darkness.  _This_ , at least, was no mere hallucination.

"Keep away!" the voice howled, echoing through the fog. "Keep away!"

"Who's there?" Edmund shouted back.

"We do not fear you!" Someone else added.

"Nor I, you!" the voice replied, sounding quite the opposite.

Luckily, Edmund had his torch handy, and used it to break through the shadows. Eventually, the light landed on a figure hunched on a small sand bank. "Keep away!" the figure repeated.

"We will not leave!" Caspian said resolutely. Susan nocked an arrow to her bow, just in case.

"You will not defeat me!" the figure shouted, raising a blade over his head.

"Caspian, his sword!" Edmund hissed. The figure was indeed handling one of the 7 Narnian blades, and so, must have been Lord Rhoop.

"You do not own me!" the lord yelled, backing away to the far end of his little island.

"Stand down!" Caspian commanded his archers. Susan kept her arrow on her bow, but lowered it so as not to scare the lord. "Get him on board, quickly!" the king ordered.

Before Susan could even begin to wonder how they would get the unresponsive lord onto the ship, Eustace appeared out of nowhere and swooped down, grabbing the Lord in his large claws. Lord Rhoop screamed, but was summarily deposited onto the deck. He swung his sword madly.

"Be calm, my lord!" one of the men shouted.

"Off me demons!"

"No, my lord," Caspian interrupted. "We are not here to hurt you. I am your King."

"Caspian," the lord muttered under his breath, his eyes wide. Slowly, he turned around, facing the young monarch. He sank to his knees before him. "My lord," he whispered. But then the lord stood again. "You should not have come. There is no way out of this! Quickly, turn this ship around before it is too late!"

"We have the sword," Edmund reasoned. "Let's go."

"Turn her about, Drinian!" Caspian ordered without delay.

As Drinian went to execute those orders with a quick "Aye aye, your majesty!" Then, Lord Rhoop stepped forwards again, his hand extended as if to physically stop Caspian.

"Do not think!" Rhoop exclaimed. "Do not let it know your fears, or it will become them!"

Susan desperately turned her thoughts to her mother and father, to Peter and the jokes they used to make.

"Oh no."

But it seemed her efforts were all for naught.

"Edmund?" Lucy asked, looking at her brother with wary concern. "What did you just think of?"

"I'm sorry," Edmund said, before dashing off to the side of the ship and looking overboard. What on earth could he have thought of that would appear there?

Something was moving in the water. Susan had barely a second before whatever it was rammed the ship and send everyone flying to the deck. Susan lost her arrow in the process, but she hardly had time to grumble over it, seeing as they now had bigger issues. "Edmund,  _what_  did you think of?" Susan shouted, her voice a little hysterical.

"It's too late!" she heard Lord Rhoop shout. Everyone was peering over the edge of the ship, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever was out there.

Susan cast her eyes over the deck, which was why she was the first to notice the… creature bursting out of the water on the opposite side. "Look out!" she screamed, pulling another arrow from her quiver.

Instantly, everyone was on edge, turning to see where she was looking. The creature loomed over the deck, hissing with its serpentine mouth open. It moved to strike, but Eustace cut it off with a powerful blast of fire.

Susan was about to cheer as Eustace dove at the creature, hooking his claws into its hide, when the serpent bashed her cousin into the ship. It was all she could do to stay on her feet.

The two beasts fought and thrashed around the ship, spraying water everywhere and biting, clawing pushing angrily into one another. Susan could hardly see where Eustace began and the serpent ended, but she kept her bow at the ready. "Archers, get ready!" she shouted as she helped a man to his feet. A battle with a foe like this would be decided with ranged weapons, not swords.

The battle came to a head when the serpent slammed Eustace into a rock, and the latter blew a column of flame into its eyes. The creature wailed and dove under the water, extinguishing the fire and vanishing under the surface. For a moment, everyone was still, waiting to see what happened.

"Out, creature!" Lord Rhoop shouted, and, before anyone could stop him, he lobbed his sword over the railing of the ship.

"No, the sword!" Edmund shouted.

Eustace looked up at the commotion, just in time for the sword to sink into his shoulder. He roared and flew off, his instincts forcing him to flee. "Eustace!" Lucy shouted after him, but to no avail. The dragon could not hear them.

The water around them began churning again as the serpent circled them.

"We're all doomed!" Rhoop shouted, too crazed to listen to anyone as he shoved his way to the steering wheel and pulled the helmsman away.

"Someone stop him!" Edmund ordered, just as the ship shuddered from another hit by the sea creature.

Drinian deftly knocked the Lord unconscious and took the helm. "Now, crew! To your rowing positions! Oars at double speed!"

The men scrambled to do as they were told, while a number of archers stayed on deck, along with the Pevensies and Caspian. The creature wasn't going to give up without a fight, however, and before they got more than a few yards, it caught up to them. It reared from the water, screeching horribly, before diving over the other side of the ship, effectively encircling it in a deathhold.

Susan pulled a man back before he could be crushed and swung her bow over her back. As long as the creature was this close, she'd take advantage of it. She grabbed the sailor's dagger and stabbed the serpent with it. That didn't do much, but it did encourage the other men to take up their swords and knives and hack away.

The creature shrieked again as it broke through the surface of the water, hovering menacingly over the prow.

Susan realized that if she were going to be of any use, she'd have to get to a better vantage point, so she began to climb.

"Edmund!" Lucy's scream distracted the elder Queen, who couldn't see what was going on.

The serpent had just taken a bite out of the bough, and Susan couldn't see her brother. "Ed?" she shouted. But then he emerged from the splintered ruins to stand on top. "I'm still here!" he shouted.

Susan wasted no time in securing her position in the shrouds and nocking an arrow. If that creature lunged one more time, Edmund would be dead, and that would only happen over her dead body. She released the arrow, avoiding the serpent's swinging tail and hitting it straight into its eye. It reared back and bellowed its displeasure to the sky.

"Brace yourselves!" Caspian shouted. He'd taken over the helm from Drinian, and apparently had a plan. Susan looked back towards the prow. Her eyes widened as she saw what they were about to hit and she swiftly wrapped her arm into the ropes. Everyone was slung about, and Susan could only hold on for dear life as her feet slipped from the shroud. The rope burned her wrist, but at least she hadn't fallen. She painfully pulled herself back up, unwound her arm, and climbed down.

But instead of killing the creature, all the ramming had done was anger it. It's belly slid open to reveal thousands of insect-like legs, capable of spearing a man if he came too close.

Once again, the serpent dove for the deck, intent on killing as many of the crew as possible, no doubt. Susan, still a little dazed from her tumble in the shroud, was a slit second too late. Luckily for her, Caspian wasn't. He tackled her out of the way, rolled over and sliced one of the insect legs off. It evaporated into smoke. His eyes met her. "We can beat this."

She nodded and climbed to her feet, picking up an arrow from where it had fallen from her quiver. "Ready the harpoons!" Caspian ordered, while Susan released another arrow into an eye. It had more than 2, so she hadn't blinded it, but it seemed to hurt it.  _Good_ , she thought.

"Ready?" Caspian's voice rang out clearly, despite the noise from the creature and the loud creaking of the ship. Susan shot off another arrow, slicing off one of the tentacles on its head.

"Now!" Caspian shouted. "Pull its head down!"

As the men pulled the creature down, Edmund climbed the shroud all the way up to the main top. But then, he hesitated. Green smoke floated around him, and no amount of shouting did anything.

Susan readied her last arrow. Even with the swaying ship and the thrashing sea serpent, she trusted the bow Father Christmas had given her to find its target. She released the bowstring.

The arrow thudded into the wood of the main mast just as Edmund's sword started glowing blue. Whatever it was that had distracted him, lost its sway, and, as the creature lunged once more, Ed rammed his blade into its mouth. Green lightning flashed and the creature went down.

The sound it made as it hit the water was oddly muted, and the darkness that had covered them lightened, until beams of sunlight burst through.

They'd won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such great final words... unfortunately, the story can hardly end here. You all know what's coming, and I really hope you'll like it, because I hate writing endings and this one was soooo hard to write!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

Susan could only watch in awe as the darkness faded and the water became the beautiful, clear blue it had been around Ramandu's Island. And there, in the water not a few yards away, longboats appeared. Longboats filled with the people who had gone missing in the green mists back at the Lone Islands. Cheers went up, and Mr. Rhince jumped into the water, causing elated laughter to erupt among the men.

Susan beamed, and laughed, and cheered along, until Caspian's hand slipped into hers. She turned from the happy sight of the reuniting family to face him: her friend, her King, her heart. "I love you," she whispered, knowing he'd hear, despite the ruckus the sailors were still making. "I love you." And then, she leaned in and kissed him, in full view of her siblings and the crew. And in that moment, she knew what she wanted. However stupid, or silly, or impossible, she wanted to stay here, in Narnia, by Caspian's side. She wanted to spend her life with him.

It was a rather chaste kiss, but all the same, it felt incredibly intimate. And far more public than even the kiss they shared the last time Susan had come to Narnia. But she didn't care. As they pulled back, Caspian beamed at her. "And I love you. My Queen," he whispered, only just loud enough for her ears.

They because aware of the catcalls and whistles and looked around, at the smiling crew. "It was about bloody time!" Edmund said, much to everyone's amusement.

Susan still didn't know how this was all going to end - an end that was now fast approaching - but at the moment, she was happy, and was tired of worrying about the future. She could live in the now for a few moments more.

After the refugees were brought on board, Eustace and Gael showed up, looking like they'd swam all the way from Ramandu's Island. But given that Eustace was a boy again, Susan suspected that Aslan had something to do with it.

Reep immediately jumped into the water to greet his friend while Lucy and some of the men pulled Gael aboard to be reunited with her parents. "Where the sky and water meet! Where the waves grow ever sweet!" the mouse sang. Then, he took a drink from the water. "It  _is_  sweet. It's sweet!" Reep exclaimed. "Look!"

And there, close to the horizon, the sea appeared white, and there was something sticking out of the water, as far as the eye could see.

"It's Aslan's country! It must be!" Reep said, swimming back to the ship and going up the rope ladder that had been lowered for Gael to climb. When he reached the deck, he bowed to Caspian. "Your Majesty, permission to scout it out?" he asked, hope filling his voice.

Susan's hand found Caspian's again, and he looked at her briefly. "Permission granted. In fact, why don't we all go? Lucy, Susan, Ed, Eustace?"

Edmund nodded. "We should," he agreed, his eyes on the distant waters. "I have a feeling it's where we're meant to go."

/*/

Soon enough, all five of them, accompanied by Reep sat in a longboat, while the two Kings rowed.

"So what was it like?" Edmund asked of Eustace. "When Aslan changed you back?"

It was a little odd, seeing their cousin now. He'd been a dragon for most of their journey, and before that he'd been a bit of an arse. But now, there was something in his eyes. He looked calmed, more sure of himself. More at peace.

"Like pulling a thorn from your foot," Eustace was saying. "Though being a dragon wasn't all bad. I think I was a better dragon than I was a boy, really. I'm so sorry for being such a sob."

Susan put a hand on his shoulder. She was so proud of how far he'd come since the beginning of their journey.

"It's okay, Eustace," Edmund said. "You  _were_  a pretty good dragon," he joked.

"And now you're a better person," Susan added. "You've grown into who you were meant to be."

Her cousin looked over his shoulder at her, as she pulled her hand back. "You really think that? Because I don't think I'm anything like I was before."

She shrugged. "I don't think Narnia really changes us that much. I think it just makes us into the best possible version of ourselves," she said, looking at each of her siblings in turn. "It teaches us lessons that we might not have learned otherwise. You might have been a brat, but you weren't a bad person. If you were, Aslan never would have let you into Narnia."

"Here here," Lucy said, and Susan put her arm around her little sister's shoulders.

"My friends," Reep interrupted gently. "We have arrived."

They all looked over, and saw that the thing sticking out of the sea was actually a wall of water, like a perpetual wave, just about to crest. Before it lay a thin strip of beach, where they went ashore. Just over the water, Susan could make out the stop of a mountain, or a rock, and she thought she saw birds flying.

"Aslan."

At Eustace's voice, they all turned to see the majestic lion walking beside them. "Welcome children. You have done well. Very well, indeed. You have come far, and now your journey is at its end."

Susan's smile fell and she gripped both Caspian and Edmund's hands.

"Is this your country?" Lucy asked, curious and kind as always.

"No, my country lies beyond," he said, looking towards the wall of water.

They all followed his gaze. "Is my father in your country?" Caspian asked softly. Susan entwined their fingers and gently squeezed his hand.

"You can only find that out for yourself, my son," Aslan replied. "But you should know that if you continue, there is no return."

Caspian released her hand and walked towards the water. Susan wanted to call out to him, to tell him to stop, but if this was his decision, she would accept it. And she would find a way to go with him. He walked right up to the water, and held out his hand, let the water run over it. And then he withdrew and turned back to them.

"You're not going," Edmund said. It wasn't a question.

"I can't imagine my father would be very proud if I gave up what he died for," he replied. "And there are things here that I could not leave behind." His eyes were on Susan's, and she couldn't help her own eyes welling up as his had done. "It's like you said. Narnia makes you a better version of yourself. I don't think I was that person yet when we set off on this adventure."

"You are now," Aslan said. Then, he turned to the other humans on the beach. "Children?"

"I think perhaps it's time we went home, actually then," Edmund said, his eyes apologetic as he looked at his younger sister.

"But I thought you loved it here?" she asked, looking surprised and sad.

"I do. But I love home, and our family, too," he said. "Susan's again proving to be the smartest of us, because she was right. Narnia teaches us to be better. And it has. Besides, our family needs us."

The tears now silently spilled from Susan's eyes and Caspian came to stand beside her, encircling her in his arms as Reep stepped forwards. He humbly asked for permission to see Aslan's country for himself, and was granted his request. "My country was made for noble hearts such as yours. No matter how small their bearers may be."

"No one deserves it more," Caspian said, and Ed was quick to agree, even going to far as to bow to the mouse. Reep then had his own emotional goodbyes with both Lucy - who was granted a hug - and Eustace. The boy was in tears, and Reep was touched by his friend's words. "What a magnificent puzzle you are. And a true hero. It has been my honour to fight beside such a brave warrior… and a great friend."

And with that, he was sailing a tiny boat over the wave, and then he was gone.

Aslan turned back to the remaining adventurers.

"This is our last time here, isn't it?" Lucy asked tearfully. "We've learned all we needed to learn."

"Yes. You have grown up, my dear one, just like your brother Peter," Aslan replied.

Lucy went over to him and buried her hands in his mane. "Will you visit us, in our world?"

"I shall be watching you, always."

"How?" she asked, wiping away a tear as Edmund came to stand beside her in silent emotional support.

"In your world, I have another name. And you must learn to know me by it. That was the very reason you were brought here. That by knowing me here for a little while, you may know me better, there."

"Will we meet again?" Edmund asked.

"Yes, dear ones. One day."

Aslan stepped back and turned to where Caspian and Susan stood, still with their arms around one another. Susan sighed, wiped away her tears and turned to face Caspian fully. She stood within the circle of his arms, safe and loved, and she never wanted to leave. But it seemed as though she could not have what she wanted.

"I love you," she breathed. "More than I ever thought I could love anyone. And I would gladly spend the rest of my life by your side. But I can't. Edmund is right, our family needs us. I can't leave them," she said.

Caspian shook his head. "No, Susan, please." His voice was barely audible, but Susan could hear the torment in it. It was mirrored in her own heart as well.

"What did you learn?"

Aslan's voice broke through their bubble and both turned to face the lion. "What did I learn?" Susan repeated. Then she looked down. What  _did_  she learn? Lucy learned about vanity and her own self-worth, and Edmund learned about his jealousy and he needn't feel inferior to anyone. Eustace learned how to be a better person overall, and to believe and have faith. But what did Susan learn? "I wasn't supposed to come back," she whispered. Then she looked at the lion and took a step away from Caspian. "You told me and Peter that we'd learned all we needed, and that we wouldn't come back. But I did."

A smile entered the lion's eyes. "So you did. It was your heart, child. That which is Narnian can never truly leave Narnia. And you had already given a part of it away when you were last here. And now, you have given it away, freely and fully. It is Narnian now, and cannot leave this land."

Caspian strode forward. "She is to stay here?" he asked, hope evident in his voice.

But Susan was still confused. "But what about my family?" she asked, looking at her siblings and her cousin.

"Those who have a spark of Narnia inside them will remember you. Those who do not, will forget."

"So, Peter, Edmund, Eustace and I will remember, but…" Lucy said, trailing off as she glanced at her brother.

"Mum and dad won't," Edmund finished.

For a moment, they all stood there in silence, letting that sink in. Edmund was the first to speak. "I'll miss you," he said, coming over and enveloping his sister in a hug.

"I'll miss you, too," she whispered, giving him a quick squeeze.

As soon as she pulled back, Lucy stepped into the hug. "But… I don't know what… what to do without you," she sobbed.

It broke Susan's heart a little to see the usually so strong, valiant Lucy like this. "Oh, Lucy. You are a Queen, and the strongest person I have ever met. You don't need me, not anymore. That was your lesson, remember? You needn't be like anyone else, when the person you already are is so magnificent."

"But… will we see each other again?" Lucy asked, pulling back to look at her big sister.

"As Aslan said; one day. One day we'll all be together again."

Then came Eustace's turn. "I, uhm… thanks," he said, standing a little awkwardly.

"What for?" Susan asked.

"You tried to make it easier for me, in the beginning. And, just… thank you. I'll miss you, cousin."

She grinned at him. "I've said it before; you're better person now, Eustace. Go show the world how great our family is."

He grinned back at her, and then stepped back to join his cousins. Lucy was still a little teary-eyed and Edmund likewise was not entirely dry-eyed. But together they stood as Aslan roared and a tunnel appeared in the wall of water. Eustace turned around one last time. "Will I come back?" he asked of Aslan.

"Narnia may yet have need of you," the lion replied, and Susan smiled. Perhaps there was a possibility of seeing her cousin again, if not her siblings.

The three of them turned back to the tunnel, straightened their shoulders and stepped in. Slowly, the tunnel closed behind them, and Susan and Caspian were left alone on the beach.

Susan stared at the wave for a moment, before it really sank in that she was never going to see her family again. She'd never hear Lucy excitedly tell her about the ordinary adventure she had, or Edmund speak of battle strategy with Peter. She'd never hear her mother hum as she cooked, or watch as her father fell asleep on the couch reading his newspaper. She'd never discuss the future with Peter anymore…

Sinking to her knees in the sand, she allowed herself to mourn their loss, to let out all the tears and pain, and scream at the unfairness of it all. Thought it all, Caspian sat with her, held her and wiped her tears away, telling her he loved her, over and over again.

Only when she was cried out did Susan feel better, a little less weighed down by the loss of her siblings. Caspian helped her up and kissed her gently.

"Let's go home."

/*/

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or is it? Seriously, let me know if you think I should write an epilogue or just go ahead and write a sequel about Susan adjusting to life in Narnia at Caspian's side, and about the blossoming romance between her and Caspian. And whatever else their future holds. I left a few tiny things open that I could talk about in a potential sequel, and I do have some vague ideas, but it all kind of depends on what you guys will say.  
> So, sequel, yay or nay?  
> OR, epilogue, yay or nay?
> 
> Let me know what you thought of the story as a whole! Please, please leave me a review, I reply to every single one. I love talking to you guys and getting your perspective on the narrative.


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